This blog post contains 100 of the best baseball jokes baseball jokes that are sure to be a home run for comedy. From one-liners to long jokes, these will cover all the bases for hilarity. So grab some peanuts and cracker jacks, and get ready to be blown away by these jokes!
Why Baseball Jokes Are So Popular
There are a few key reasons why baseball jokes baseball jokes are so popular and widespread:
- Long History – Baseball has been around since the 1800s, giving it an extensive history to drawn jokes from. Many jokes poke fun at old players, teams, or eras in baseball.
- Specialized Lingo – Baseball has its own vocabulary full of unique terms like stolen base, pinch hitter, and more. This language allows for very specific baseball-themed jokes.
- Tension – The pace and tension of baseball games, with their bursts of excitement, makes for great comedic fodder. Jokes play off key moments like strikeouts, home runs, and more.
- Statistics – Baseball is full of intricate statistics and records. This gives the opportunity for jokes about obscure stats or accomplishments.
- Failure – Unlike many other sports, failure is inherent in baseball. Even the best hitters fail to get on base most of the time. This theme of failure leads to a lot of self-deprecating jokes.
- Summer Pastime – Baseball is synonymous with warm summer days and nights at the ballpark. This nostalgic setting is perfect for feel-good baseball comedy.
So get ready for jokes about everything from managers and umpires to hot dogs and the seventh inning stretch. These jokes will hit it out of the comedy park!
Top 10 Funniest Baseball Jokes
Let’s start off with 10 of the best short baseball jokes:
- What happens when a baseball player eats gigantic pancakes? They get a big stack attack.
- Why did the baseball player go to jail? He was caught stealing second base!
- Why was the baseball player kicked out of the game? Because he stole third base!
- What do you call a baseball player who can’t keep his uniform clean? A dirty batter!
- Why do baseball players hate discovering math theorems? Because they prefer batting practice to math proofs!
- Why shouldn’t you make fun of a baseball pitcher’s ERA? They have some very low tolerance for that!
- Why do baseball players love Thanksgiving? Because of all that gravy over the plate!
- How do baseball players stay cool when it’s hot? They sit by their fans!
- What do you call a baseball player who got cheated on? A stolen baseman!
- Why do baseball players wear so much red? So they can hide in the strawberry patches!
Knock-knock jokes and baseball were meant for each other. Here are some hilarious baseball knock-knock jokes:
Knock Knock! Who’s there? Sidd. Sidd who? Siddown – you’re out!
Knock Knock! Who’s there? Jimmy. Jimmy who?
Jimmy a home run already!
Knock Knock! Who’s there? Pete. Pete who? Pete Rose!
Knock Knock! Who’s there? Cow. Cow who? No silly, a cow says “Moo” not “Who”!
Knock Knock! Who’s there? George. George who? George “Babe” Ruth!
Knock Knock! Who’s there? Willie. Willie who? Willie strike out again this season?
Knock Knock! Who’s there? Barry.
Barry who? Barry Bonds!
Knock Knock! Who’s there? Derek. Derek who? Derek Jeter!
Walk-Up Song Jokes
Baseball players love picking fun walk-up songs when they’re batting. Here are some jokes about what silly songs players could use:
- The pitcher picked the MC Hammer song “Can’t Touch This!” as his walk-up song. Unfortunately, batters disagreed by getting hit after hit!
- The slugger chose “Home on the Range” as his walk-up song since he hits so many home runs. Well, the song definitely didn’t jinx him!
- The first baseman selected “All By Myself” by Celine Dion as his walk-up song, perfectly describing how isolated he feels at his position.
- The aging third baseman chose “Over the Hill” by John Fogerty as his walk-up song, sheepishly acknowledging how his skills have declined.
- The clumsy outfielder went with “I’m No Grace Kelly” by Grace Kelly as his walk-up song, making fun of his poor coordination.
- The arrogant shortstop picked Kanye West’s “Greatest of All Time” as his walk-up song, boldly declaring his self-proclaimed status.
- The energetic lead-off hitter chose “Let’s Get It Started” by Black Eyed Peas, raring to go kick off the game.
- The temperamental catcher selected “Short Fuse” by Bruce Springsteen, warning opponents about his fiery personality.
The characters and personalities of professional baseball players lead to endless joke opportunities. Here are some funny gags about various MLB stars:
Babe Ruth Jokes
- Why did the Babe miss the first three weeks of Spring Training? He was waiting for a COLD day to start!
- How did the Babe prepare for games during the offseason? By eating a big breakfast…lunch, dinner, and a midnight snack!
- Where did the Sultan of Swat get his nickname? By hitting dingers so far they reached the Ottoman Empire!
Willie Mays Jokes
- How does Willie Mays garden? He plants his seeds, turns around, and catches them when they start to grow!
- How did Willie surprise his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? He hit a box of chocolates over a fence and caught it for her!
- Why does Willie love pancakes so much? Because he can run back to the table and make an amazing catch if he drops the syrup!
Yogi Berra Jokes
- Yogi Berra enters a taxi cab and says, “Follow that car!” The taxi driver turns around and says, “Oh I’m sorry, Mr. Berra, I can only follow other taxis.”
- Yogi walks into a pizza shop and says, “Can you cut this pizza into 4 slices instead of 8, because I’m feeling extra hungry today?”
- Yogi was playing golf and hit his ball into the woods. His caddy said, “I’m not sure where it went.” Yogi responded, “Well now we know, don’t we!”
Umpires are responsible for calling balls, strikes, and outs – but they often draw the ire of players and managers. Here are some jokes about umps:
- What do you call an umpire who needs glasses? Blind!
- Why did the umpire make it to the World Series? Because he called strikes even on obvious balls!
- Why was the ump so exhausted after the game? He kept changing his calls and running back and forth!
- Why did the ump keep looking at his watch? He wanted to make sure he knew when three strikes meant the batter was out!
- Why did the umpire throw the manager out of the game? Because he didn’t like being told his strike zone was horrible!
- What’s the difference between an umpire and a bucket of mud? The mud is smart enough to know when to cover home plate!
- What does an umpire and a household mop have in common? They both clean up the dirt on the field!
Baseball Stadium Food Jokes
Stadium concession food is ripe for parody and jokes! Here are some gags about ballpark eats:
- Why did the baseball player bring trail mix to the game? To finally get a taste of nuts at the ballpark!
- The hot dogs ran so fast around the bases they were called Fast Food Franks. But they got mustard and ketchup on their uniforms from the messy eating fans!
- The peanut vendor was so busy he started throwing bags of peanuts to fans instead of passing them. He became known as the Chuckin’ Nuts Peanut Man!
- The cotton candy seller looked like he had a massive pink afro from stuck cotton candy. Talk about a sugar high hairdo!
- The beer guy kept shouting “Cold Beer! Ice Cold Beer!” but it was warm since he walked around in the hot sun all game. False advertising!
- The pizza chef kept spinning the pizza dough overhead. He hoped the wild throwing would cool it down for impatient fans.
- The fan caught a nacho cheese covered baseball. He considered keeping it as a cheesy souvenir but knew it would get moldy fast!
Baseball Fan Jokes
Loyal baseball fans also get their fair share of parody for their crazy superstitions and gametime habits:
- Why did the baseball fan wear his rally cap inside out, upside down, and backwards? He wanted to look even more ridiculous to spark a comeback!
- How did the Yankees fan survive 30 days in the desert with no food or water? By talking nonstop about the Yankees’ World Series titles!
- Why did the fan bring sandpaper to the game? To roughen up the seats and make them less comfortable, ensuring he stays awake and alert!
- The fan insisted on catching a game at every MLB stadium before he turned 60. His family said, “You’re not going to game the system!”
- The fan brought a voodoo doll of the star player from the opposing team to the game. Other fans shouted, “Witch one of them is it?”
- The fan refused to wash his lucky jersey all season long. By mid-season, the jersey was so stiff and smelly it could stand up on its own!
Silly Baseball Jokes
Here are a collection of bizarre and eccentric baseball jokes:
- Why can’t you play baseball with pigs? They would hog all the bases!
- What do you get when you cross baseball with golf? Pitch and putt footballers!
- How do baseball players stay connected when traveling for away games? With their team’s roaming rates!
- How do baseballs stay cool? They sit by electric fans!
- Why did the baseball player name his son “Homerun”? So he could say “Go Home Run!” when he hit home runs!
- Why was the baseball player elected President? Because he knew how to score runs!
- What has 18 legs and catches flies? A baseball team!
- What did the baseball glove say to the ball? “Catch you later!”
- Why did the baseball team get arrested? They stole third!
- Why can’t baseball players take their kids to the park? They don’t know how to pitch a tent!
FAQs About Baseball Jokes
Here are answers to some frequently asked questions about baseball jokes:
When did baseball jokes become popular?
Baseball jokes grew in popularity in the early 1900s as baseball became the national pastime. The jokes frequently mocked the superstitions and habits of players and fans.
What are the most common baseball joke targets?
Some of the most common targets are managers arguing with umpires, hungry players, “stuck in a slump” batters, clumsy outfielders, and crazy fan superstitions.
What current players are mocked the most?
Players like Albert Pujols, Mike Trout, Aaron Judge, and Yadier Molina are popular targets for jokes about their talents, tendencies, or personalities.
Are baseball jokes only popular in America?
While baseball jokes originate in the U.S., the sport’s international reach makes the humor appreciated worldwide. Spanish-speaking countries especially enjoy beisbol jokes.
Where can I find more funny baseball jokes?
Reddit has an r/baseball community with ongoing joke posts. Baseball comedy accounts on Twitter like PitchingNinja and CespedesBBQ post fresh jokes. Or search YouTube for fan-made baseball joke videos.
Why should I learn more baseball jokes?
Baseball jokes are highly entertaining for both diehard and casual fans. They show appreciation for the sport’s history and community. Laughter is healthy too – baseball jokes are good for you!
Let’s Hear Some Laughter!
And there you have it – 100 hilarious baseball jokes covering players, umpires, fans, stadiums, history, and much more! From knock-knock jokes to player puns, these are sure to get belly laughs and chuckles from all baseball comedy fans.
Learning this huge collection of baseball jokes is a home run for boosting your wit and becoming the MVP of comedy. So memorize a few and drop them at the next game or party. Now, let’s hear some laughter!