100 Engineer Jokes That You Won’t Believe Existed!

Despite Engineers reputation for being serious, logical, and focused on technical details, we’ve rounded up 100 of the best engineer jokes that will make you chuckle, giggle, and maybe even guffaw.

Get ready for jokes about mechanical engineers, electrical engineers, chemical engineers, and more. Some poke fun at engineering stereotypes, while others highlight the clever problem-solving skills that engineers are known for. A few may even hit close to home if you’re an engineering student or professional yourself.

So without further ado, here are 100 engineer jokes to entertain and amuse.

Mechanical Engineering Jokes

1. Why did the mechanical engineer cross the road? To get to the other sides.
2. How do you know someone is a mechanical engineer? They’ll tell you within the first 5 minutes of meeting you.
3. Why did the mechanical engineer only date other mechanical engineers? Because non-engineers just didn’t find shear stress jokes funny.
4. What’s the best way to communicate with a mechanical engineer? Draw them a picture.
5. How many mechanical engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None, that’s an electrical engineer’s job.
6. A priest, a doctor, and a mechanical engineer are waiting to tee off at a golf course. The priest says “Lord, please let me hit this ball straight and true.” The doctor says “Please help me make good contact and get this ball close to the hole.” The mechanical engineer says “Oh God, please make me miss the ball completely.”
7. What’s the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
8. Why did the mechanical engineer bring a ladder to work? Because he was working on a high-level project.
9. What do you call a social, articulate, creative mechanical engineer? An electrical engineer.
10. How many mechanical engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but it will take them several hours to run FEA and simulation analysis first.

Electrical Engineering Jokes

11. Why do electrical engineers need to regularly practice writing? So they don’t forget how to write Ohm’s Law.
12. How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it’s a hardware problem!
13. What did the electrical engineer say when he got shocked? “This hertz!”
14. What happens when you cross a high voltage cable with a mosquito? You get a little buzz.
15. An optimistic electrical engineer reads the glass as twice full. A pessimistic electrical engineer reads the glass as half empty. A realistic electrical engineer drinks the water and then refills the glass.
16. How do you tell an extroverted electrical engineer from an introverted electrical engineer? The extroverted electrical engineer looks at YOUR shoes when he’s talking.
17. Electrical engineers like AC because they don’t like DC.
18. Why do electrical engineers confuse Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct 31 = Dec 25.
19. What’s the difference between a computer and an electrical engineer? You only need to punch information into a computer once.
20. How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they simply redefine darkness as an industry standard.

Chemical Engineering Jokes

21. What does a chemical engineer’s reaction look like at equilibrium? No reaction.
22. A physicist, an accountant, and a chemical engineer are in hotel room sleeping when a fire breaks out. The physicist woke up, saw the fire, ran over to his desk, pulled out his CRC, and began working out all sorts of fluid dynamics calculations. The accountant woke up, saw the physicist doing calculations, and ran over to his desk to begin calculating the costs and profit changes related to the fire. The chemical engineer woke up, saw the fire and ran into the bathroom to fetch some water to put it out. But there was no water in the bathroom. So he grabbed the ice bucket, calculated the mole fraction of water in the ice versus the dry air content, determined he did not have enough water to put the fire out, and went back to bed.
23. What’s the difference between a chemist and a chemical engineer? A chemist will tell you almost anything is possible given enough time and money. A chemical engineer will tell you it’s impossible given too little time or too small a budget.
24. How many chemical engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but the light bulb will need to isolated, undergone catalysis, be placed in a continuous stirred tank reactor, undergo distillation, and be sent through a heat exchanger first.
25. What classes do chemical engineers have to take in college? 24-Hour Engineering Thermodynamics, 48-Hour Process Control, and a 50-minute lunch break.
26. How do you make a buffer solution? Shoot a chemical engineer with a taser.
27. Why did the chemical engineer get fired from the orange juice factory? They couldn’t concentrate.
28. What’s the best chemical engineering invention? Clear Coke.
29. How do chemical engineers make holy water? They boil the hell out of it.
30. What’s the difference between mechanical engineers and chemical engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Chemical engineers build bigger and better weapons.

Civil Engineering Jokes

31. Why did the civil engineer bring flowers to work? He was congratulating the architects on the birth of their latest design.
32. How many civil engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They would just specify a 200 watt bulb and let the electrical engineer figure it out.
33. Where does a civil engineer sleep at night? Anywhere he wants, he built the place.
34. Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the civil engineer designed it that way.
35. A physicist, a mechanical engineer, and a civil engineer are trying to determine how high a building needs to be to guarantee that an egg dropped off the top won’t break. The physicist does a series of complex calculations and says 102 meters. The mechanical engineer builds a prototype and drops real eggs to find the breaking point to be 98 meters. The civil engineer looks up building codes and safety factors and declares “200 meters, to be safe.”
36. How do you recognize a civil engineering major at a party? They’re the only ones who think spending 3 hours talking about concrete is fun.
37. How do you know when a civil engineering has been at your house? Your toilet overflows, but the lawn is perfectly leveled.
38. What is a civil engineer’s favorite type of tree? The structural pine.
39. Why did the civil engineer cross the road? To align himself with the cepterline.
40. How many civil engineers does it take the change a light bulb? Just one, after conferring with the electrical engineer, architect, contractor, and safety officer.

Engineering Student Jokes

41. What’s the hardest part about being an engineering student? Explaining to your parents that a D is still passing.
42. Engineering students have two grades: Pass and Fail.
43. Professor: “When doing a math problem, you should always show your work.” Engineering Student: “But the back of the Scantron is so small…”
44. If I had a dollar for every all-nighter I’ve had to pull for engineering school, I could pay off my student loans.
45. Engineering Student Pick Up Line: “I wish I was your integral so I could be the area under your curves.”
46. What’s the best thing about dating an engineering student? They understand how hard you worked to get that 0.5 grade point increase last semester.
47. My non-engineering friends get so annoyed that I can only hang out at odd hours between study sessions. They just don’t understand the struggle.
48. My parents said they wouldn’t pay for me to switch majors when I told them engineering was too hard. “But we already paid for your first semester, just finish the degree!” Ugh.
49. The vending machines in the engineering building have energy bars, 5-hour energy shots, and coffee. Normal food is not an option.
50. As an engineering student, I definitely drink more caffeine than water.

Engineering Professor Jokes

51. A dean, a professor, and a janitor are in a hotel room when a fire breaks out. The janitor sees the fire and grabs a nearby fire extinguisher to put it out. The professor tries scribbling mathematical formulas on the wall to model the fire growth. The dean calmly takes out his diploma and smiles knowing his job is secure.
52. Engineering Professor: “To find the resonant frequency, you have to derive the equation for forced oscillations.” Student: “Can you just tell me what it is so I can finish this problem?”
53. What’s the difference between an engineering professor and God? God doesn’t think he’s an engineering professor.
54. A geology professor, biology professor, and engineering professor are hiking up a mountain when they see some rocks coming loose and start to tumble towards them. The geology professor immediately starts analyzing the rock composition, structure and trajectory. The biology professor yells “Run!” and takes off down the mountain. The engineering professor takes out his calculator, does some calculations, and says confidently “We’re fine, we’ll remain stationary.”
55. The graduate with a science degree asks “Why does it work?” The graduate with an engineering degree asks “How does it work?” The graduate with an accounting degree asks “How much will it cost?” The graduate with an arts degree asks “Do you want fries with that?”
56. An engineering professor wouldn’t refer to blackboards as blackboards. They would call them “inefficient visual learning interfaces.”
57. How do you know if your engineering professor does consulting work? They assign more projects than they have time for.
58. What do engineering professors wear on the weekends? The same clothes they wore all week.
59. How do engineering professors prepare for a holiday party? By bringing a textbook to read “for fun.”
60. Why did the engineering professor bring multi-colored chalk to class? To add some color to the lecture.

Workplace Engineering Jokes

61. What’s an engineer’s favorite place to grab a drink after work? The bar!
62. Why do engineers constantly stir their coffee? It helps mix the solutions.
63. Why do engineers wear safety glasses when they sleep? To keep the big picture in focus!
64. Three engineers are arguing about which engineering discipline created the human body. The mechanical engineer says “God must be a mechanical engineer, look at all the levers and pulleys.” The electrical engineer says, “No, God’s an electrical engineer, look at the complex nervous system.” The civil engineer says, “God’s a civil engineer. Who else would put a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?”
65. What’s the difference between engineers and scientists? Engineers build weapons, scientists use them.
66. The optimized solution will always make the problem worse.
67. Normal people think the glass is half full or half empty. Engineers will ask you precisely what the glass was calibrated for.
68. The management consultant approaches a bridge over a river. Staring pensively over the rail, deep in thought, the consultant slowly turns to the civil engineer standing nearby and asks: “Tell me, if I were to drop a stone from this bridge, how long would it take to reach the water?” The engineer considers the question carefully and eventually replies: “Well, there are several factors that need to be considered. First, you need to…” The consultant interrupts him: “You’re the typical over-engineering type, aren’t you? Give me a quick estimate”. The engineer thinks again: “Approximately 4.2 seconds for a small stone.” The consultant laughs condescendingly: “You engineers are so focused on the technicalities that you fail to see the bigger picture. I don’t need your ‘expert’ answer, but a rough intuitive estimate.” The engineer shrugs his shoulders and then replies: “Okay, approximately one second.” The consultant looks confused: “What happened to the 4.2 seconds?” “Oh, I thought you wanted a quick estimate!” the engineer smiles.
69. At a job interview: “Do you have any questions for me?” Engineer: “How accurate are your job postings?”
70. Two engineers were crossing a road when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?” The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you want.” The second engineer nodded approvingly, “Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”
71. An architect, a lawyer, and an engineer are discussing what they think is the oldest profession in the world. The architect proclaims “Clearly it is architecture, as God created the universe out of chaos.” The lawyer says “Before that, there was only chaos, so the oldest profession must be law.” The engineer ponders and then says “Yes, but before law, there was only chaos. And who do you think created the chaos?”
72. I was going to tell a joke about civil engineering ethics, but then I realized I couldn’t think of one that wasn’t over budget or behind schedule.
73. Why don’t scientists trust engineers? Because engineers warp the universe to fit their calculations.
74. The computer scientist thinks the glass is full. The electrical engineer thinks the glass is completely empty. The industrial engineer thinks the glass is twice the size it needs to be.
75. A priest, a doctor, and an engineer are waiting their turn to be executed by guillotine during the French Revolution. The priest is first, but when the executioner pulls the lever, the blade stops before harming the priest. The authorities see this as divine intervention and let the priest go free. The doctor goes next, but again the blade stops before cutting off the doctor’s head. The authorities release the doctor too. As the engineer’s turn comes up, he looks at the guillotine from bottom to top and casually remarks “Ah, I see what’s wrong. There’s just a little alignment problem…”

Engineering Pick Up Lines

76. Are you an electrical transformer? Because you get me so amped up!
77. That shirt’s very becoming on you. But if I were on you, I’d be coming too.
78. You’re hotter than a Bunson burner set to full power.
79. Together our love could move mountains. According to the Mohr–Coulomb theory of course.
80. Call me Ohm’s Law and I’ll be your electrifying voltage.
81. We have so much potential energy together we could generate waves.
82. My love for you is like quantum tunneling – it breaks all barriers.
83. Baby, you’re hotter than a catalytic cracker.
84. Your beauty causes my equilibrium to shift.
85. Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’m searching for.
86. You must be the ideal gas because you’re checking all my boxes.
87. Your smile is more energizing than a diesel generator.
88. Are you wearing space pants? Your butt is out of this world!
89. You must be the square root of -1 because you are unreal!
90. Our love is stronger than any composite material.

Self Deprecating Engineering Jokes

91. How can you tell an outgoing engineer? They stare at YOUR shoes when they talk.
92. What’s the difference between an engineer and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four.
93. If I had a dollar for every girl that didn’t find me attractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
94. How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but the rest sit around trying to calculate the optimum efficiency.
95. Why do engineers constantly stir their coffee? Because it helps prevent stratification and increases solubility.
96. What do you call a sociable engineer? An extroverted nerd.
97. I told my family I wanted to be a comedian. They all laughed. We’re engineers, after all.
98. How can you tell an engineer is outgoing? He’s looking at your shoes instead of his own when he’s talking.
99. Engineer #1: “My dating life is so dull I might as well calculate stress and pressure all day.” Engineer #2: “But that IS our job.”
100. Why do engineers make bad lovers? They’re always calculating when they should be stimulating.

So there you have it – 100 funny engineering jokes guaranteed to make you smile! We poked fun at all types of engineers and engineering stereotypes. Whether you’re an engineer yourself or know someone studying engineering, these jokes will provide some comedic relief to all that math and science. And if you’re thinking about pursuing engineering, don’t let the jokes scare you off – engineers have awesome careers and still know how to laugh at themselves! Now go and spread some engineering humor to the world.

Frequently Asked Questions about Engineering Jokes

Here are some common questions people have about jokes for and about engineers:

Q: Why do engineers get made fun of so much?

A: Engineers are an easy target for jokes because of stereotypes about their serious personalities and lack of social skills. The perception is they focus solely on technical topics and can’t carry on a normal conversation. Of course, most engineers have well-rounded lives like anyone else! But those stereotypes make for easy (if sometimes unfair) humor.

Q: What is the stereotypical engineer personality?

A: The stereotype is that engineers are super logical, not very emotional, love math and science, and struggle in social situations. And male – unfortunately engineering remains a male-dominated field. Jokes often play off these stereotypes by showing engineers as socially awkward or obsessed with technical details.

Q: Do engineers have a good sense of humor about the jokes?

A: Most do! Engineers tend to be pretty easy-going and can laugh at the stereotypes others assign to them. Some jokes do perpetuate unfair stereotypes, but silly jokes about calculators and slide rules are generally taken in good fun.

Q: Who tells most jokes about engineers – other engineers or non-engineers?

A: Most engineering jokes actually originate from engineers themselves! Especially engineering students who often joke about how difficult their coursework is. Engineers enjoy poking fun at their own hyper-logical tendencies and problem-solving mindsets.

Q: What engineering branch is targeted most frequently – mechanical, electrical, civil, etc?

A: Mechanical engineering jokes are probably the most common, because that’s the broadest engineering field. But all disciplines get their share of jokes about calculations, technical thinking, and social ineptitude. Civil engineers may get targeted for being obsessed with concrete and rebar. Electrical engineers get zapped for focusing on currents and voltages. All types of engineers can relate to the overall theme of the jokes.

Q: Are engineering jokes only told in English speaking countries?

A: Engineering stereotypes like obsessive technical thinking and poor communication skills definitely exist across continents and cultures. So every country has their own version of jokes poking fun at their engineers. Some universal engineering jokes probably translate well across languages. But cultural contexts likely influence jokes too.

Q: Do other technical professions like computer science get similar jokes?

A: Yes! Any profession requiring extensive math and science knowledge like programmers, data scientists, and even accountants or architects are easy targets for similar jokes. Stereotypes of poor social skills and liking numbers more than people resonate across many technical disciplines. The jokes may vary in details, but the overall theme remains the same.

Q: Are there any taboo topics when telling jokes about engineers?

A: Racist, sexist, or otherwise offensive jokes are never acceptable, even if trying to be funny. And it’s best to avoid perpetuating unfair stereotypes even in humor. For example, jokes about engineers not bathing play into the unflattering view of them lacking social awareness. Better to keep topics light-hearted and focused on math/science tendencies.

Q: What’s the best way to share engineering humor?

A: Social media like engineering Reddit threads are a great place to swap jokes engineers will appreciate. For wider audiences, aim for mainstream comedy shows and blogs that welcome this niche humor. And public speaking engagements are a chance for engineers to share laughs together in person. Just remember the context and stay away from mean-spirited or discriminatory attempts at humor.

I hope these additional FAQs provide more insight into the world of engineering jokes! Let me know if you need any other sections expanded or have additional questions.