Have A Drink With This 65 Walk Into A Bar Jokes

Walk into a bar jokes is a classic joke format that has been around for decades. The basic structure is that someone or something walks into a bar and then a funny punchline follows. These types of jokes are easy to remember and Have A Drink With This 100 Walk Into A Bar Jokestell which makes them popular at parties and social gatherings. In this blog post, we have compiled 100 of the best walk into a bar jokes that are sure to get some laughs and break the ice!

What Makes Walk Into A Bar Jokes So Popular?

There are a few key reasons why walk into a bar jokes have remained so popular over the years:

Simplicity – The basic setup is very straightforward and easy to remember. Just starting with “A _____ walks into a bar…” is enough to let people know a joke is coming.
Rewritability – The simple format allows endless possibilities for creating new jokes by plugging in new characters or punchlines. This flexibility keeps the format feeling fresh.
Relatability – Bars and pubs are familiar social settings for many people, making the premise easy to imagine and relate to.
Humor in the Unexpected – Part of what makes these jokes funny is the element of surprise. The punchline often takes an unexpected or absurd turn that catches people off guard in a humorous way.

Now that we’ve covered why walk into a bar jokes are so evergreen, let’s get to the jokes! Be sure to share your favorites with friends next time you’re enjoying drinks together.

Clean Walk Into A Bar Jokes

Let’s start off with some family-friendly walk-into-a-bar jokes suitable for kids or professional settings:

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The grasshopper looks surprised and says, “You have a drink named Steve?”
A pony walks into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender asks, “Why the long face?”
A snake slithers into a bar and asks the bartender for some hot water. The bartender asks, “Why?” The snake replies, “Because I want to make some tea!”
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A man walks into a bar and says, “Give me ten shots of your finest single malt scotch, quickly please, I’m in a hurry!” The bartender pours the shots, and the man drinks them all back-to-back as fast as possible. The bartender asks why he was in such a rush, and the man replies, “Oh, I just had my first drink!”
A baby seal walks into a club.
A magician walks down Old Street and turns into a bar.
A chicken coop walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve coops here!” The chicken says, “That’s OK, I just want a drink.”
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much for a beer. The bartender replies, “For you, no charge.”

Funny Walk Into A Bar Jokes

Now let’s get into some funny and raunchy adult walk into a bar jokes:

A priest, a nun, and a rabbit walk into a bar. The rabbit declares, “I think I’m a typo!”
A horse walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender asks, “Why the long face?” The horse responds, “I don’t think I can do this. I’m the punchline of too many jokes as it is.”
A grasshopper hops into a bar. He hops up onto the stool and orders a drink. The bartender looks at him and says, “You know, we have a drink named after you.” The grasshopper looks surprised and says, “You have a drink named Steve?”
A pirate with a steering wheel in his pants walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?” The pirate responds, “Arrrr, it’s driving me nuts!”
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. He asks the bartender, “How much?” The bartender replies, “For you, no charge!”
Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks “Would you like a beer?” Descartes replies “I think not” and disappears.
A monkey walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves him and says, “That will be $3.” The monkey is surprised and exclaims, “Three bucks for a beer? That’s bananas!”
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, “I’ve lost my electron.” The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive…”
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. “How much will that be?” asks the neutron. “For you?” replies the bartender, “no charge”.

Walk Into A Bar Jokes For Different Professions

The great thing about walk into a bar jokes is you can customize them for any profession. Here are some tailored to specific jobs:

A lawyer walks into a bar and orders a drink. He looks around and loudly declares, “I hate doctors!” An angry man stands up and shouts, “Hey pal, I’m a doctor and I’m sick of ignorant lawyers saying they hate us!” The lawyer smiles and says, “No, no I’m just talking about Dr Pepper… I hate Dr Pepper.”
A psychologist walks into a bar. He pauses just past the doorway and waits to see if anyone notices him.
A mathematician strolls into a bar and orders a beer. He asks for the exact quantity he desires in fluid ounces. “Two pints it is!” the bartender declares.
A professor walks into a bar and orders a double martini. The bartender asks, “olives or twist?” The professor thinks carefully before replying, “olives, they’re a fascinating fruit with a rich history.”
A statistician walks into a bar and orders everyone a round of drinks.
A theoretical physicist walks into a bar, buys himself a drink, and begins to hypothesize how he’d buy the whole bar a round.
A mechanical engineer walks into a bar and orders a beer. Three hours later she has re-calculated the load-bearing capacity of the establishment and made suggestions for improvements.
A software engineer walks into a bar and asks for 1 beer. Then 0 beers. Then 1 beer. Then 100 beers. An error. Please restart bar.
A vegan walks into a bar and announces to the whole room, “I’m vegan!” Then she proceeds to lecture everyone about the virtues of veganism for the next two hours.
A dermatologist walks into a bar. She has a thick skin.

Bar and Alcohol-Related Walk Into A Bar Jokes

Since bars and drinking alcohol are central to the premise, here are some walk into a bar jokes playing with those themes:

A man walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink. As the bartender is pouring, he notices tiny people swarming all over the man, jumping in and out of his pockets. “Hey man, what’s with the tiny people?” the bartender asks. “Oh them?” replies the man, “they are micromanagers. They oversee every little thing I do.”
A priest, minister, and rabbi walk into a bar together. The bartender looks at them and asks, “Is this some kind of joke?”
A cowboy rode his horse into the saloon and ordered a drink. As the cowboy sat there sipping his whiskey, a young man came running into the bar and yelled, “Somebody just stole my horse! Has anyone seen it? It’s a brown and white painted pony with a black mane!” The cowboy calmly took another sip of whiskey, then answered “Nope, haven’t seen it.” The young man hurried out to continue searching. After he left, the cowboy paid for his drink and walked outside. Right where he left it was the young man’s pony. He mounted up and rode away.
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The grasshopper looks surprised and says, “You have a drink called Steve?!”
A termite walks into a bar and asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
A tachyon walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve faster-than-light particles here.” A tachyon walks into a bar.
Heisenberg is out for a drive when he gets stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says, “Sir, do you know how fast you were going?” Heisenberg replies, “No, but I know exactly where I am!”
A neutrino walks into a bar. The neutrino passes right through the bar unimpeded.
An electron and a positron walk into a bar. As soon as they enter, matter meets anti-matter and they annihilate each other in a burst of energy.
A zombie lurches into a bar, slams its fist down, and groans, “BRAAAAAIIINNNSSS!” The bartender responds, “Sorry pal, this is a no-brains bar.”

Animal Walk Into A Bar Jokes

The animal kingdom provides plenty of fodder for walk into a bar jokes:

A giraffe walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender pours the beer and says, “That’ll be $3.” The giraffe pays and takes a sip of his beer. The bartender asks, “Hey buddy, why the long neck and face?”
A cowboy rode his horse into the local saloon. “I’ll have a beer,” ordered the cowboy. After the bartender poured him a cold one, the cowboy’s horse gulped it down in one swig. “Hey pal, you gotta pay for that beer,” yelled the bartender. The cowboy paid for the beer. They did this a few more times before the bartender got irritated. “Buddy, you can’t keep letting your horse drink beer without paying!” “I’m sorry,” said the cowboy, “but I can’t just stop him. This is a hoursefly bar.”
A man brought his dog into a bar and ordered two drinks. The bartender said, “Sorry, we don’t allow dogs in here.” The man insisted that his dog could talk and would vouch for him. He said to the dog, “I’ll have a beer and you’ll have a…” The dog barked loudly. The man chuckled and said, “See, he said he’ll have a scotch!”
A dog ran into a bar and begged the bartender for some whiskey. “Wow, a talking dog!” said the bartender. “What else can you do?” The dog replied, “I have no other tricks. I just learned to talk so I could order whiskey.”
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never served a weasel before. What can I get you?” “Pop,” goes the weasel.
A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Four bucks,” says the bartender. “Put it on my bill.”
A three-legged dog limps into an old West saloon and slides up to the bar. He announces to the patrons, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
A termite walks into a bar and asks, “Where is the bar tender?”
A chicken crosses the road and walks into a bar. She orders some hot wings and a glass of beer. The bartender asks, “Why did you cross the road first?” The chicken replies, “To get to this bar, of course!”
A snail crawls into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves him and says, “That’ll be $3.” The snail pays and starts to slowly crawl away. Three hours later he has only moved a few inches. The bartender picks up the snail and throws him out. The snail bangs on the window from outside and shouts “What did you do that for? I’m a fast escargot!”

Silly and Absurd Walk Into A Bar Jokes

The more bizarre and silly, the better when it comes to this classic joke format:

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.
Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow walked into a bar. It was timeless.
An Irishman walked out of a bar.
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: “Pint please, and one for the road.”
A blind man takes his seeing eye dog to the bar. He picks the dog up by the hind legs and starts swinging him around. The bartender yells, “Hey buddy, what are you doing to your dog?!” The blind man replies, “Oh don’t worry, I’m just having a look around.”
A skeleton walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer and a mop.”
A blob of tarmac walks into a pub. The landlord says ”I’m not serving you” The blob says ”Why Have A Drink With This 100 Walk Into A Bar Jokes Walk Into A Bar Jokes not, I’m a freemason”
A bar of gold walks into a bar, raises its arms and shouts, “Au, give me a drink!”
An amnesiac walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do I come here often?”
A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double-entendre. So he gives it to her.

Longer Format Walk Into A Bar Jokes

Some walk into a bar jokes work better with a longer set up and story format:

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender takes one look at him and says, “You know, we have a drink named after youHave A Drink With This 100 Walk Into A Bar Jokes!” The grasshopper looks up excitedly and says, “You have a drink named Steve?!” “No,” says the bartender, “it’s called a grasshopper.” The grasshopper does not look pleased. “Hey, what’s wrong buddy?” asks the bartender. The grasshopper sighs and says, “It’s not easy being green.”
A termite walks into a bar and asks, “Where is the bar tender?” The bartender hears this and says, “Hey buddy I’m right here, what can I get you?” The termite replies, “Were you talking to me?” The bartender says, “Of course I was! You just walked in here and…” The termite interrupts him and says, “No no no, I’m just a little bug who can’t understand human words yet. I’m still learning.” The bartender pauses for a moment confused. The termite reassures him, “Don’t worry, someday I’ll become a bar tender!”
A baby seal walks into a club. The bouncer says, “Sorry buddy, I can’t let you in here.” The seal responds, “But I’m just a baby!” The bouncer replies, “I know, but you’re still a seal. No seals allowed in the club.” The baby seal turns around sadly and leaves. As the bouncer watches the seal toddle away, he feels a twinge of guilt. Maybe he had been too harsh. After all, it was just a defenseless little baby seal who didn’t know any better. The bouncer softens and calls out to the seal, “Hey wait up a second! Come back!” The baby seal turns around with a hopeful gleam in his eye. The bouncer says, “Look, stay away from those Canadian ice fisherman and you’ll do just fine.”
A grasshopper walks into a bar, hops up on a stool and orders a beer. The bartender looks at him and says, “You know we have a drink named after you?” The grasshopper looks surprised and says “You have a drink named Steve?” The bartender laughs and says “No, I’m talking about the grasshopper, the green cocktail.” The grasshopper looks annoyed and says “Hey, juHave A Drink With This 100 Walk Into A Bar Jokesst because I’m a grasshopper doesn’t mean I like those fruity green drinks. I’ll have you know I have very refined taste.” The bartender apologizes and says “I didn’t mean to assume. How about I buy you a beer on the house to make up for it?” The grasshopper says “That would be nice, thank you. And I apologize too for getting upset. I’ve just had a long day.” The bartender nods in understanding. The grasshopper settles in and enjoys the rest of his evening, glad he didn’t let stereotypes and assumptions get in the way of connecting with someone new.
A horse walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves him and says, “That’ll be $3.” The horse is taken aback. “What? $3? That’s robbery!” The bartender shakes his head and says, “Not at all, that’s our standard price.” The horse insists, saying “$3 for a beer is way too expensive! I want to speak to the manager.” The bartender leads the horse to his manager’s office. The horse repeats his complaint to the manager, saying the bar’s beer prices are exorbitant highway robbery. The manager disagrees and says the prices are fair and competitive for the area. The horse will not relent. “This is an outrage!” he says. “I’m going to tell all my horsey friends to avoid this bar. Your prices must come down!” The manager has had enough. “Alright mister, if you don’t pipe down we’re going to have to ask you to leave. So what’s it gonna be?” The horse takes a deep breath, composes himself and says, “My apologies for getting heated. You’re running a business, and I understand you need to charge a reasonable price and can’t just give away product.” The manager nods graciously. “Thank you for understanding sir.