With these 100 hilariously funny dentist jokes, you’ll be grinning from ear-to-ear even while sitting in the dentist’s chair!
Why Do We Tell Dentist Jokes?
Dentist jokes and humor about going to the dentist have been around for ages. There are a few key reasons these quips are so popular:
- Fear – Many people are afraid of the dentist and these jokes help make light of common fears like needles, drills, and pain. Humor helps us face our fears.
- Nervousness – Sitting reclined in the dentist chair and having someone poke and prod your mouth can make anyone anxious. Jokes are a great distraction.
- Discomfort – Dental procedures, even routine cleanings, can be uncomfortable. Laughter helps minimize discomfort.
- Control – Being in the reclined dentist chair puts the dentist in control and makes patients feel powerless. Jokes help patients regain a sense of control in an awkward situation.
- Relief – Funny dentist jokes provide mental and physical relief from the stresses of dental visits. Laughter boosts endorphins which relieve pain and stress.
So next time you’re dreading the dentist, try reading some of these hilarious dentist one-liners first! Laughter really is the best medicine.
Hilarious Dentist Jokes and Puns
Get ready to laugh your head off with this collection of funny dentist jokes, one-liners, and puns:
- What did the dentist say to the golfer? “You have a hole in one!”
- Why did the dentist become an astronaut? He wanted to explore uranus!
- What did the dentist see at the North Pole? A molar bear!
- Why was the little boy crying at the dentist’s office? Because he had a cavity and was in need of some fillin’s!
- What did the dentist see at the zoo? A gold cap on a silverback gorilla!
- Why did the dentist get angry after Thanksgiving dinner? He had a chip on his shoulder!
- How did the dentist become a brain surgeon? It was just a matter of pulling some strings!
- What did the dentist say to the saber-toothed tiger? You have outstanding teeth!
- What does a dentist call their x-rays? Tooth pics!
- Did you hear about the dentist who married the manicurist? They fought tooth and nail!
- Why did the boy eat his dentist’s homework? Because the dentist told him it was a piece of cake!
- Why don’t ants get cavities? They have tiny little fillings!
- What do you call a dentist in the army? A drill sergeant!
- How do dentists get to work in the morning? By taking the Tooth Ferry!
- Did you hear about the dentist who was unemployable? He was fired for gross negligence!
- Why don’t calculators get cavities? They’re tooth-free!
- Why don’t lobsters share their toys? Because they’re shellfish!
- What type of tool does a dentist use for screenings? A crowbar!
- What do you call a toothless bear? A gummy bear!
- Why do frogs make good dentists? They love getting toad-l checkups!
- How did the dentist become a popular musician? He had a lot of gold records!
- What did the molar say to the dentist? Stop, you’re drilling me crazy!
- Why was the little strawberry crying? His parents were in a jam!
- What did the dentist see at the baseball game? A catcher behind home plate!
- Why can’t you tell a joke in a dentist’s office? It’s all business in the front, party in the back!
Funny Dentist Jokes About Going to the Dentist
These hilarious dentist jokes capture the nerves and discomfort of going to the dentist with humor:
- What’s the difference between a dentist and a sadist? Newer magazines in the waiting room!
- I asked the dentist to be gentle. He said “Don’t worry, I’m not going to hurt you.” That’s when I knew I was in trouble!
- I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown tie. Thanks a lot!
- The dentist told me to stop picking my teeth. I told him I’m not picking them, I’m playing them! They make beautiful music together!
- I told my dentist we need to stop meeting like this. People will say we’re in love!
- The dentist asked me how I write without any teeth. I told him I use a ghostwriter!
- I let my dentist borrow my James Bond DVDs. He had them for months. Finally, I said “Doc, you’ve had my DVDs long enough.” He said, “No time to give them back!”
- I asked the dentist if he goes to the movies very often. He said only on extraction nights!
- The dentist is my favorite pub trivia teammate. He knows every tooth there is to know!
- I called the dentist and told him “I think I’m a moth!” The dentist said “You shouldn’t be calling me, you need a psychiatrist!” I told him “But your light was on!”
- I sat in the dentist chair and asked if he does tattoos as well as fillings. He said no, but I’m welcome to come by on Saturday nights for open mike comedy night!
- I like my dentist but he has questionable taste. Who has posters of teeth on the ceiling?
- My dentist says he can tell a lot about me by my teeth. I’ll bet my psychiatrist would say the same thing about my brain!
- I asked my dentist if the x-ray machine was safe. He said it’s fine – he’s been using it since the Civil War!
- My dentist promised me a $200 smile. I thought that was expensive ’til I saw his bill!
Funny Dentist Jokes About Pain and Discomfort
Poke a little fun at the discomfort and pain of dental work with these funny dentist jokes:
- How do you make a dentist cry? Kill his whole family. Just kidding, tell him he left the gas on.
- I asked for something to stop the pain. He gave me a picture of his kids.
- I told my dentist we should get engaged. He made sure my filling was extra secure after that.
- The dentist told me to stop making faces or my head might freeze that way. Too late, doc!
- The dentist said “This will hurt a little.” The sadist in me was hoping he was lying.
- I told the dentist to be gentle because I’m scared of pain. He said don’t worry, the bill will ease your pain!
- The dentist asked me If I floss regularly so I showed him my funky dance moves.
- The dentist said “Don’t spit.” I couldn’t – my mouth was already full!
- I got Botox injections in my gums before a trip to the dentist. Now the needles won’t hurt at all!
- The dentist said “Stop spitting!” I told him I wasn’t spitting, just drooling ‘cuz my mouth is numb!
- The dentist said “Lean your head back.” Easy for him to say, he’s not the one laying upside down!
- The dentist told me to stop moving so much during the procedure. Doesn’t he know I’m doing the cha-cha to distract from the pain?
- When he started drilling, the dentist told me “Let me know if it’s uncomfortable.” I asked if he could start on a back tooth instead.
- The dentist said “You’ll just feel a little pinch.” Then he pulled out the biggest needle I’ve ever seen!
- I asked for more novocaine but my dentist said the 5 shots were enough. Tell that to my throbbing mouth!
Funny Dentist Jokes About Cleanings
These dentist jokes about cleanings will get you grinning before your next routine visit:
- Next time the hygienist cleans my teeth, I’m going to scream like I’m being murdered to keep her on her toes!
- I asked the dentist to hurry up and finish cleaning already. My tongue has a leg cramp from sticking out this long!
- After my teeth cleaning, I looked at the hygienist and said “My turn!” She was not amused.
- I faked a terrible stomach ache so the hygienist would stop cleaning my teeth. I can only take so much scraping and prodding!
- The dental hygienist said to open wide but she got distracted and dropped her phone in my mouth. Now who’s laughing!
- I wrote a jingle for my dentist’s office – “We thank you for your patronage, now open wide for that tooth barrage!”
- I told the hygienist I like it rough during my dental cleaning. She called in the dentist instead.
- I asked the dental hygienist if her job made her chipper. She did NOT think my pun was funny.
- I offered to buy my hygienist flowers after my next teeth cleaning but she respectfully declined. I’ll up my game and try chocolates next visit!
- I asked the dental hygienist if she was single. She said yes so I asked her out because nothing brings people together like gum disease!
- My hygienist said she’s a fan of hard rock. No wonder she scrubs my teeth so aggressively!
- The dental hygienist asked if I floss regularly so I showed her my sweet dance moves. She was not amused.
- I told my dentist I could clean my own teeth for cheaper. He said “Your funeral!” and handed me some floss.
- My dentist is thinking about offering budget cleanings without novocaine. But numbing my mouth is my favorite part!
- The dental hygienist said my teeth are so clean I could eat off them. I suggested she bring me a sandwich next time.
Funny Dentist Jokes About Cavities and Fillings
These cavity and filling jokes will have you grinning through the drilling:
- I asked the dentist to give me silver fillings because I want my smile to be worth something when I die.
- The dentist asked me to stop yelling while he filled my cavities. I yelled “Just fill them with cotton!”
- I got so many fillings, the dentist should just cement my mouth shut and be done with it!
- The dentist said I had 13 cavities. I told him to just give me an unlucky number instead.
- I asked the dentist to put my filling in black like my heart. He didn’t find me amusing.
- The dentist suggested getting gold fillings to impress the ladies. I’m more concerned with impressing vending machines!
- I want a license plate with my dental fillings so I can use the carpool lane. After all, I’ve got people in my mouth!
- My dentist makes terrible music playlists for fillings. Who wants to listen to drills while getting actual drills?
- I got a white filling even though I wanted gold. I glared at my dentist the whole time to show my displeasure!
- I told the dentist I didn’t need an injection for my cavity. He filled it without Novocain. I take back what I said!
- Getting a cavity filled isn’t my favorite thing but at least I get cool sunglasses to block the blinding light!
- The dentist said cavity fillings are getting more natural looking. Great, now I can keep people guessing which teeth are fake!
- When I switched dentists, my new one said 13 of my fillings were unnecessary. I’m sending my dental bills to the old dentist!
- I asked the dentist to put my filling in a tooth that doesn’t have a cavity. At least let me get my money’s worth!
- The dentist suggested a crown instead of a filling. I told him I’d accept nothing less than an Emperorship!
Funny Dentist Jokes About Root Canals
Root canals are no laughing matter – unless you read these jokes!
- I wanted a velvet robe and crown for my root canal spa day at the dentist. He didn’t have the right amenities.
- The dentist suggested a root canal is the only option. I told him we should get a second opinion from my mechanic!
- I asked for a bookshelf to hold all my pulp fiction novels during my root canal. The dentist didn’t think it was funny.
- The dentist doing my root canal had an off day at work. You could say he struck a nerve!
- I installed a disco ball and brought a boombox to liven up my root canal procedure. My dentist has no sense of humor.
- I asked for a pedicure foot bath during my root canal but the dentist refused. Talk about poor customer service!
- The dentist offered headphones and music, but I want mood lighting and a lava lamp for my next root canal.
- I didn’t need Novocain for my root canal – the pain of the drill was nothing compared to the dentist’s bad jokes!
- I asked if I could get frequent flyer miles for my root canal procedure. My dentist said it would be sheer torture not to give them to me!
- I wanted to bring a sourced dough bread boule to my root canal to see if the dentist could figure out what was in it just by the smell from my mouth!
Funny Dentist Jokes About Wisdom Teeth
Getting your wisdom teeth pulled is no joke – except for these quips!
- I had to get my wisdom teeth pulled because they were causing my other teeth to make bad decisions.
- I got my wisdom teeth pulled so now all I have left are my genius teeth!
- I’m saving my extracted wisdom teeth to make a fancy necklace someday. Who needs diamonds when you’ve got dentition?
- My dentist let me take home my wisdom teeth and now I can leave them under my pillow for the Tooth Fairy!
- I named my wisdom teeth so I could write thoughtful thank you notes to them after the extraction. RIP Jeremy, Chet, Becky, and Sue!
- My dentist put braces on my wisdom teeth before pulling them. Now my dazzling smile lives on!
- I’m not crying over my extracted wisdom teeth. After all, it’s my gums that are really smart now!
- I wanted to keep my extracted wisdom teeth so I could clone myself someday. My dentist said absolutely not.
- I superglued googly eyes on my wisdom teeth before they got pulled. My dentist was not amused but his assistant loved it!
- I got wisdom tooth earrings made from my extracted teeth. Talk about Pearls of Wisdom!
FAQ About Dentists and Dental Visits
Need more answers about all things dental? Here are some frequently asked questions about dentists, dental visits, and funny reactions to the dreaded dentist chair:
Why are people afraid of the dentist?
Common fears around dentist visits include:
- Pain from dental work like drilling and needles
- Loss of control while reclined in the dentist’s chair
- Fear of medical/dental procedures
- Fear of needles or injections
- Embarrassment about the condition of one’s teeth
- Fear of gagging or choking during procedures
- Fear of tooth extractions
- Discomfort from opening one’s mouth very wide
What are some funny dentist jokes based on common fears?
- I asked for strawberry flavored laughing gas but my dentist said that’s no laughing matter!
- The dentist told me to open wide but all I could manage was a little whimper.
- I told my dentist no laughing gas for me. I want to be present for all the torturous fun!
- The dentist tried to give me laughing gas but I told him just to knock me out cold.
- I asked the dentist to turn down the bright light and put on some soft spa music next visit. Bring on the ambiance!
What are some funny quotes or jokes about dental x-rays?
- My dentist takes dental selfies and calls them x-rays.
- My dentist’s x-ray machine is so old, it uses cassette tapes!
- I asked the dentist if Bluetooth was safer than x-rays. He did not find me amusing.
- I offered to bring my dentist lead aprons from my last mammogram but he already had X-ray protection.
- After my x-rays, I asked when I’d see the movie. My dentist did not find me funny.
What are some funny dentist jokes about cleanings and teeth polishing?
- I asked the hygienist if teeth cleanings came with a happy ending but she said dental pleasure is not allowed!
- The hygienist said she was polishing my precious pearls.