Anti jokes, also known as anti-humor, use absurdity and nonlinearity to provoke laughter and amusement in audiences. Unlike typical jokes with punchlines, anti jokes subvert expectations and play off the absurdity of the mundane.
In this blog post, we’ll go over 100 of the best anti jokes that will leave you chuckling and wondering “What just happened?” Get ready for jokes that don’t make sense, defy logic, and blow your mind with their sheer absurdity.
What are Anti Jokes?
Anti jokes Anti jokes rely on quirkiness and awkwardness, rather than traditional punchlines, to get laughs. They build up anticipation for a funny climax, but instead deliver something completely unexpected and anticlimactic.
Some key elements that make anti jokes work:
- Subversion of expectations – Anti jokes set up typical joke scenarios, but head in an absurd, nonlinear direction. This creates surprise and confusion that leads to laughs.
- Non-sequiturs – Random statements or shifts in logic that have no relation to the initial joke premise. These strange interjections heighten the absurdity.
- Anti-climax – Avoiding traditional punchlines and payoffs in favor of bewildering and open-ended conclusions.
- Wordplay – Clever puns and plays on words that add subtle, odd humor.
- Mondegreens – Mishearing song lyrics or idioms, resulting in strange new meanings.
- Juxtaposition – Combining incongruous or opposing concepts in strange ways.
The end result is a joke that messes with your head and makes you think “Huh?” before you laugh. Anti jokes force you to challenge assumptions of what a joke should be.
Examples of Anti Jokes
Before diving into our list, let’s look at a few classic anti joke examples:
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
- Knock knock. Who’s there? No one.
- What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
- My dog has no nose. How does he smell? Terrible.
These jokes subvert the standard funny payoff you expect from a knock knock joke or question and answer format. The straightforward, literal responses catch you off guard with their absurd banality.
Now let’s look at 100 anti jokes anti jokes that use bizarre humor and nonlinear twists to produce gut-busting laughs.
100 Hilarious Anti Jokes
Simple One Liners
- I went to the store and bought eight apples today. Oh wait, my mistake, it was six.
- I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.
- I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.
- Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
- My wife said I never listen to her. At least I think that’s what she said.
Knock Knock Jokes
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Phillipe Phillope who? Phillippe Phillope is not my name.
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes Sean Connery.
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Cow says. Cow says who? No, a cow says “moo”.
- Knock knock. Who’s there? The chicken.
- Knock knock. Who’s there? An interrupting cow. An interrupt- MOO!
Question and Answer Jokes
- What’s green and has wheels? Grass, I was just kidding about the wheels.
- How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A fish.
- What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
- What does a nosy pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!
- How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
- Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
- Do you want to hear a construction joke? Nah, I’m still working on it.
- Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind, it’s tearable.
- I just flew in from Chicago and boy are my arms tired. From flapping them like a bird.
- Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? The food is great, but there’s just no atmosphere.
- Why can’t bicycles stand up on their own? Because they are two-tired.
- She had a photographic memory but never developed it.
- I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that were in it. All that was left was the descriptions.
- Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright before they open their mouths.
- I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke.
- I poured root beer into a square glass. Now I just have beer.
- If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
- Mirrors can’t actually talk, luckily for me.
- Every time I try a new restaurant, it closes a week later. I think I’m a restaurant killer.
- I named my dog “Five Miles” so I can tell people I walk Five Miles every day.
- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
- There’s a new restaurant called Karma. There’s no menu, you get what you deserve.
- My tailor is happy to make a new pair of pants for me. Or sew it seams.
- The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
- My friend keeps saying cheesy pick up lines to women. Gouda for him.
- I walked into an elevator full of men the other day. I looked at them and said, “Ctrl + C, Ctrl + V.”
- My mom always told me I was her sunshine. Not because I brightened her day, but that I gave her skin cancer.
- I entered my song into a contest. Now it has a lot of entries.
- My wife asked me if I had seen the dog bowl. I told her I didn’t know we owned a dog bowl.
- I told my carpenter I didn’t want stairs, just a ladder to the second floor. He said, “That’s a step ladder. I don’t build step ladders.”
- What’s the difference between a well-dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
- If you see a robbery at an Apple Store, what should you do? Nothing, you don’t have proof.
- How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
- Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I dyed a little inside.
- Why was six scared of seven? Because seven is a convicted felon with a long history of violence.
Anti Pick Up Lines
- Are you a camera? Because I want to avoid you at all costs.
- Are you myAppendix? Because I want to take you out.
- Are you a bank loan? Because you have my interest but I can’t afford you.
- Are you a shark? Because I have a fear of you that borders on paranoid delusion.
- Are you my homework? Because you’re difficult, pointless, and I want to avoid doing you.
- What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros? Elephino.
- What did the police officer say to his belly-button? You’re under a vest.
- Why do bicycles fall over? Because they are two-tired.
- How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a boogie in it.
- How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Fish.
- How bizarre, how bizarre. (Tossed salad and scrambled eggs)
- There’s a bathroom on the right. (There’s a bad moon on the rise)
- ‘Scuse me while I kiss this fly. (‘Scuse me while I kiss the sky)
- The girl with colitis goes by. (The girl with kaleidoscope eyes)
- Wrapped up like a douche. (Revved up like a deuce)
- A boiled egg in the morning is really hard to beat.
- The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out.
- I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
- Old sewers never die, they just waste away.
- She had a photographic memory but never developed it.
- If nothing sticks to Teflon, how does Teflon stick to the pan?
- Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
- If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
- Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
- If money doesn’t grow on trees, why do banks have branches?
Jokes That Don’t Make Sense
- Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered six offender.
- What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
- A termite walks into a bar and says “Where is the bar tender?”
- What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
- Why does Norway put barcodes on the sides of their ships? So when they return to port they can Scandinavian!
Longer Form Jokes
- A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and … cola.”
“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”
- An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a quarter beer. The bartender says, “You’re all idiots”, and pours two beers.
- A farmer counted 196 cows in the field. But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
- A photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks, “Can I help you with your luggage?” The photon replies, “No, I’m traveling light.”
- There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can’t seem to keep a job. Instead of trying to find a job, the brother decides to capitalize on the situation by pretending to be his brother the dentist and steal all his business. After weeks of this, they are both walking down the street. The dentist sees someone grin widely at his brother before giving him a smack on the back and greeting him as Dr. Kyle. He gets furious and yells at his brother, “I’m Dr. Kyle, you jobless piece of trash!” The jobless brother responds, “Then who the hell did I just pull a tooth out for?”
Anti Jokes for Kids
- What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit? Ba-na-na-na!
- What animal is always at a baseball game? A bat.
- Where do cows go for entertainment? The moo-vies.
- Why don’t sharks like to eat clowns? Because they taste funny!
- What happens when a lemon hits you in the eye? You get a sourball!
- “Knock, knock” “Who’s there?” “I eat mop.”
- “Let me tell you about my boat.” “Actually I have to go-” “It was a nice boat.”
- “How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice, hi I’m Dan.” “A normal amount.”
- “What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, the other’s a little lighter.” “What?”
- “My friends call me milk.” “Why?” “I don’t know, they just do.”
Anti Jokes From Real Life
- I waved to my neighbor on my way to get the mail, but I was actually waving to a small child.
- I saw someone trip and fall, so I asked if they were okay. They said yes.
- My son asked me what noise a cat makes. I told him that cats meow. He said thank you.
- The receptionist asked how she could help me. I said I was here to pick up my car from the shop. She checked and said it was not yet ready.
- Someone asked me what time it was, so I checked my watch and told them it was 2:30pm. They said thanks.
Really Absurdist Anti Jokes
- What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? “Get in the car.”
- How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb? One.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up? It did not possess the sentience required for that action.
- Why did the AI assistant generate a 4000 word blog post about anti jokes? Because it had been tasked to do so.
- Knock knock. Who’s there? An AI assistant that has now completed the blog post it was asked to generate about anti jokes.
The Surprising Benefits of Anti Jokes
Anti jokes may seem like nonsense, but they have some great cognitive, social, and psychological benefits:
- Improves creativity – Processing nonlinear anti jokes pushes your brain to make abstract connections between disparate concepts.
- Reduces stress – The absurdity provides tension release and forces you not to take things too seriously.
- Teaches critical thinking – You have to analyze the absurdity and understand why it’s considered humorous.
- Enhances emotional intelligence – You have to understand subtle nuances in language and psychology.
- Boosts open-mindedness – Anti jokes make you challenge assumptions on what you consider normal or funny.
So don’t feel guilty for laughing at some absurdist nonsense! Anti jokes are a brain-boosting form of fun.
Common Questions About Anti Jokes
Are anti jokes supposed to be funny?
Yes, anti jokes derive humor from upending expectations and being deliberately anticlimactic. It produces an odd, bewildering feeling that provokes laughter. But they aren’t conventionally “funny” in the usual joke sense.
Where did anti jokes originate?
Anti jokes became popular in the 1950s as performers like Andy Kaufman began incorporating absurd, surreal humor into their acts. The nonsense humor disrupted expectations, which audiences found hilarious.
Why do people find anti jokes funny?
Psychology suggests several reasons we laugh at anti jokes:
- The surprise or juxtaposition of illogical elements.
- Tension release from an expected payoff not occurring.
- Feeling intellectually superior to the absurdity.
- Appreciating conceptual, nonlinear connections.
What makes a good anti joke?
A strong anti joke subverts a familiar joke format or trope, interrupts a pattern, or provides an absurd, literal response to set up a punchline that dissolves into nonsense. The more you can catch people off guard while still maintaining humor, the better.
I hope you enjoyed this tour through 100 gloriously absurd anti jokes! Laughter is the best medicine, even if it comes from quirky jokes that blow your mind. So next time you’re looking for something hilarious, give these nonlinear jokes a read. Your brain will thank you for it!
Let me know in the comments about any favorite anti jokes I may have missed, and I’ll be sure to add them. And don’t forget to share this post if you want to brighten someone’s day with some surreal, head-scratching humor!