100 Fat Jokes To Brighten Your Day!

Laughter is the best medicine, so they say. And there’s nothing like good fat jokes fat jokes to get you giggling. While some may find these jokes offensive, they’re meant in good fun. The key is being able to laugh at yourself and see the humor in life’s absurdities.

So without further ado, here are 100 fat jokes guaranteed to brighten your day!

Funny Fat Jokes

  1. I went to the beach today and got mistaken for a beached whale. Luckily I was wearing sunscreen, so I didn’t get sun-burnt blubber.
  2. I’m on a new diet. I only eat food that swims. So far I’ve lost three pounds and a puppy.
  3. I entered a challenge where I had to lose 15 pounds in a week. It was simple – all I had to do was take off my coat.
  4. My doctor told me I was overweight, so I went to a gym. But they said I needed to be a member to work out there. Are fries and a milkshake considered cardio?
  5. I’m trying out this new organic, gluten-free, low-calorie diet. So far I’ve lost 2 weeks.
  6. I heard you’re not supposed to eat anything when you’re stressed. Whoever said that has clearly never experienced stress eating.
  7. I’m not saying I’m fat, but it takes two trips to haul ass.
  8. I’m on that new diet where you’re only allowed to eat what you can lift over your head. It’s not going great so far.
  9. I don’t mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
  10. I went to my doctor for a physical. He said I was just minutes away from being diagnosed with obesity. I told him I came in a taxi.
  11. I’m sweating like a hooker in church trying to fit into these old pants. But at least they still fit – barely.
  12. I’m not saying I’m fat, but last time I went to an all you can eat buffet they had to install speed bumps.
  13. Doctor: “You need to stop eating anything fatty.” Me: “What, like bacon and burgers?” Doctor: “No fatty, stop eating people!”
  14. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
  15. I hate it when I gain so much weight my clothes start fitting better.
  16. Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy chocolate, which is basically the same thing.
  17. I’m not saying I have a problem with food, I’m just saying if you have some, you should probably hide it.
  18. I’m not fat, I’m just easier to see.
  19. I went to a weight loss group, but they weren’t very supportive. They actually kicked me out for eating a doughnut. But in my defense, they said we could have a snack.
  20. I’m not lazy, I’m just in energy saving mode.

Yo Mama Jokes

  1. Yo mama’s so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.
  2. Yo mama’s so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food from her.
  3. Yo mama’s so fat, when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE.
  4. Yo mama’s so fat, when she stepped on the scale, the doctor said “Hey, that’s my phone number!”
  5. Yo mama’s so fat, when she fell in love she broke it.
  6. Yo mama’s so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
  7. Yo mama’s so fat, we went to the drive-in and didn’t have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
  8. Yo mama’s so fat, when she dances the band skips.
  9. Yo mama’s so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it’s still printing.
  10. Yo mama’s so fat, when she got on the scale, it said, “To be continued.”
  11. Yo mama’s so fat, when she goes to the zoo, the elephants throw her peanuts.
  12. Yo mama’s so fat, when she sat on a dollar bill, she squeezed a booger out of George Washington’s nose.
  13. Yo mama’s so fat, we’re in her right now!
  14. Yo mama’s so fat, she went to the theater and sat next to everyone.
  15. Yo mama’s so fat, she uses redwoods to pick her teeth.

Food Puns

  1. Want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.
  2. Let’s taco ’bout how great puns are.
  3. What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.
  4. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  5. Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
  6. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  7. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
  8. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
  9. Want to hear a construction joke? Nah, I’m still working on it.
  10. Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  11. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
  12. What did the bacon say to the tomato? Lettuce get together!
  13. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
  14. What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
  15. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.

Self-Deprecating Humor

  1. I’m on a liver-only diet right now: I live to eat.
  2. Skinny people look at me and think “diet.” I look back at them and think “hunter.”
  3. Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
  4. Sometimes I roll my eyes so hard I can see my brain.
  5. My belly fat comes with a side of sass and sarcasm.
  6. I’m not telling you I’m fat, but my high school photo is still printing.
  7. I’m on a protein-only diet. It’s very meat and potatoes.
  8. I’m sweating like a nun in a cucumber field trying to fit into these pants.
  9. I’m not overweight, I’m just FATcinated by food.
  10. Of course I have plans today. They involve a nap, snacks, and Netflix.

More Funny Fat Jokes

  1. I’m not saying I’m fat, but my blood type is Prego.
  2. I don’t mean to brag, but I finished Netflix.
  3. I’m on a see-food diet. I see food, I eat it.
  4. I just did a week’s worth of cardio. Ok, so it was 20 minutes but it felt like a week.
  5. Doctor: “You need to stop eating anything fatty.” Me: “What, like bacon and burgers?” Doctor: “No, fatty means YOU.”
  6. I’m not overweight, I’m undertall.
  7. I bought a dress online and it came with free gravy stains!
  8. I’m on a new experimental diet called “Just kidding, I’m going to eat whatever I want.”
  9. I’m procrasti-weighing.
  10. I’m not fat, I’m fluffy.
  11. I’m not full of myself, there’s just more of me to love.
  12. Judge: How do you plead? Me: Hunger, your honor.
  13. Of course I love exercising! I love sitting on the couch, lifting food to my mouth.
  14. Money can’t buy happiness but being fat gets you pretty close.
  15. I’m not saying I’m fat but when I wear Malibu Barbie’s clothes, they fit perfectly.
  16. I’m on a no-sugar diet. Which basically means no clothes fit me right now.
  17. I’m not full of myself, there’s just more of me to love.
  18. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
  19. Judge: How do you plead? Me: Hunger, your honor.
  20. Of course I love exercising! I love sitting on the couch, lifting food to my mouth.

Silly Fat One-Liners

  1. I’m not fat, I’m fluffy.
  2. Diet tip: Eat naked in front of the mirror. You’ll see the damage with every bite.
  3. Of course I have plans today. They involve a nap, snacks, and Netflix.
  4. Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy pizza. And pizza makes me happy.
  5. I’m not full of myself, there’s just more of me to love!
  6. I’m not fat, I’m easier to see.
  7. I’m not fat, I’m festively plump.
  8. I’m not telling you I’m fat, but my junior prom dress took 6 yards of material.
  9. I’m trying to lose weight. 20 pounds to be exact, and I only have 19 to go!
  10. Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
  11. Beer and belly laughs – my two favorite ab workouts!
  12. I’m not lazy, I’m fuel efficient.
  13. Today’s diet tip: Dip your food in water. It’ll taste blander!
  14. I’m not procrastinating my diet, I’m prolonging the inevitable.
  15. I’m not saying I’m fat, but the animals at the zoo feed me.
  16. I’m on a low-calorie diet. Vodka has the fewest calories, right?
  17. I’m not full of myself, there’s just more of me to love.
  18. I’m not fat, I’m festively plump.
  19. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
  20. My first diet tip is to avoid mirrors. They’re not your friend, trust me.

So there you have it – 100 hilarious fat jokes guaranteed to brighten your day and put a smile on your face! Laughter really is great medicine, so use these to stay positive and remember to love the skin you’re in. Now go share some of these with friends and spread the cheer!

Frequently Asked Questions About Fat Jokes

Here are some common FAQs about fat jokes:

Are fat jokes offensive?

Fat Jokes Fat jokes can be seen as offensive by some, while others may take them lightheartedly. It’s best to consider your audience and only tell fat jokes in a spirit of good fun rather than meanness. Avoid mocking others and be mindful that weight is a sensitive subject.

What are some tips for telling fat jokes tastefully?

Tell fat jokes playfully rather than hurtfully. Laugh with people, not at them. Avoid stereotypes or aggressively targeting overweight people as the butt of jokes. Self-deprecating humor shows you don’t take yourself too seriously.

What are the different types of fat jokes?

Fat jokes come in all varieties – one-liners, “yo mama” jokes, funny puns, jokes involving word play on “fat,” self-deprecating humor about your own weight, and more. Get creative!

Where can I find more fat jokes and humor?

Check out sites like Reader’s Digest, Buzzfeed, or Reddit for listicles of fat jokes. Watch standup comics who touch on being overweight for humorous takes. Seek out body positive communities sharing laughs about their bodies.

Why do people tell fat jokes?

Laughter connects us! Fat jokes can help us address social taboos around weight. By laughing together, we relate to each other’s shared human experiences. Humor is a way to build rapport and gain perspective.

So go ahead – tell a fat joke! Just be kind, consider your audience, and remember we all deserve to feel comfortable in our own skin. Laughter can uplift and unite when done right.

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