Get ready to laugh out loud with this collection of 100 hilarious pumpkin jokes and puns. Pumpkins aren’t just for carving jack-o’-lanterns and making pumpkin pie – they’re also great fodder for funny jokes! Check them out below!

Pumpkin Jokes

1. Why did the pumpkin get in trouble at school? It was being too much of a wise-gourd.
2. What happens when pumpkins fall in love? They get pumpkin married!
3. Why couldn’t the pumpkin have babies? Because it had pumpkin fertility issues.
4. Why was the baby pumpkin so stressed? Because he had a lot of gourdian issues with his parents.
5. How did the pumpkin feel when he got cut from the baseball team? Squashed.
6. What did one pumpkin say to the other pumpkin on Valentine’s Day? I yam what I yam because of you!
7. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport? Squash.
8. How do you fix a damaged pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.
9. Why was Cinderella thrown off the pumpkin carriage? She was behaving rottenly.
10. Why did the baker stop making pumpkin pie? He was tired of working his buns off.
11. What did the pumpkin say when it was accused of being too soft? Oh my gourd!
12. Why couldn’t the scarecrow and the pumpkin have babies? Because they were pumpkin compatible.
13. How did the baby pumpkin know he was adopted? Because he didn’t look anything like his pumpkin parents!
14. What did the pumpkin say to his sweetheart? You’re the apple of my eye!
15. What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie? Your teeth.
16. Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches? They have no hands to knock on the door.
17. What key won’t open any pumpkin? A tur-nip key!
18. Why did the truck driver hauling pumpkins keep getting speeding tickets? He kept getting caught driving over the speed gourd.
19. How does a pumpkin get around? By rolling with its pumpkin peers.
20. Why was the punk pumpkin thrown out of school? For having a bad seed attitude.
21. What’s the easiest way to draw a pumpkin? Start with a pumpkin seed circle.
22. Why couldn’t the pumpkin cross the road? It was too scared to move outside its vine.
23. Why are jack-o-lanterns the most popular Halloween pumpkins? They light up the night with their electrifying personalities.
24. What do you call two pumpkins that argue all the time? Bitter squash.
25. Why did the baker’s pumpkin pie taste awful? He used stinky punkin’ spice!
26. How do pumpkins style their hair? With pumpkin spice scented hair gourd.
27. What did the pumpkin say to console his crying friend? There, there…let it all out, it’ll make you feel butter squash.
28. Why was the chef so mad at his pumpkins? They kept squashing his dreams of making the perfect pumpkin soup.
29. Why was the pumpkin patch mob so angry? Someone smashed their leader with a pumpkin bomb.
30. Why did the hipster buy an ugly pumpkin at the patch? He thought its imperfections made it look gourdgeous.
31. How did the pumpkin woo his crush? He threw gourd-geous compliments at her until she agreed to a date.
32. Why did the girl break up with her pumpkin boyfriend? Their relationship was getting too sloppy.
33. How did the punk pumpkin fight ‘The Man’? By organizing a protest in the pumpkin patch.
34. What’s the most positive pumpkin? An opti-squash-tic one!
35. Why was the pumpkin so exhausted after the costume party? He was partied out.
36. How did the pumpkin get around town? It took the gourd bus.
37. Why did the pumpkin always win the carving contest? It had the best jack-o’-lantern skills.
38. How did the pumpkin try to stop smoking? He wanted to kick the pumpkin habit.
39. Why did the pumpkin cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a squash coward.
40. What’s the most festive pumpkin dessert? Pumpkin pie spice cake.
41. How did the little pumpkin learn manners? From his pumpkin parents.
42. What do you call a lonely pumpkin? Desperate gourd.
43. Why did the pumpkin have to leave the party early? He was told to beat it by the hostile squash.
44. How do pumpkins party? Turnip the bass!
45. Why did the gardener yell at the pumpkins? They were rotten.
46. What did the pumpkin say to his carpool? Let’s squash in together!
47. Why was the pumpkin smiling after Halloween? He had his guts ripped out.
48. What did one pumpkin said to the smooshed pumpkin? I’m sorry for your lots.
49. What do you call a pumpkin who lost his car keys? A squash blockhead.
50. How did the two pumpkins become best friends? They really connected on an inner seed level.

More Pumpkin Jokes and Puns

51. Why was the pumpkin late to work? Because it was stuck in a gourd traffic jam.
52. What happens when you tell an offensive joke around pumpkins? You get stared at in dis-gourd.
53. Why was Cinderella’s pumpkin carriage rocking back and forth after midnight? Because the clock struck twelve and her carriage turned into a punkin’.
54. What happens when you carve too many jack o’lanterns? You get pumpkin hand syndrome.
55. Why do pumpkins take so long to roast in the oven? They have to bake their little stem off first.
56. What did the pumpkin say to his mother? You’re the pick of the patch!
57. How did the baby pumpkin learn to walk? Through pumpkin trial and error.
58. What did the pumpkin say to his sore tooth? Stop being such a dent gourd.
59. Why did the baker stop selling pumpkin bread? It wasn’t making enough dough.
60. Why did the pumpkin sit out the dance competition? It already won a gourd medal.
61. How does a pumpkin stay in shape? Lots of squat-ashes.
62. What happens when pumpkins drive recklessly? They get a smashing ticket.
63. Why was the pumpkin patch safety manager always stressed? Too many rotten apples causing accidents.
64. How did the hipster pumpkin order her latte? With extra pumpkin spice, obviously.
65. What did the pumpkin say to his girlfriend when she was cold? Here, take my jacket, I’ll shiver for you.
66. Why was the pumpkin crying alone in his room? He was suffering from serious depunkin issues.
67. How did the punk rocker pumpkin rebel against society? By painting his shell neon orange.
68. Why was the pumpkin embarrassed at the costume party? He felt like an utter fool’s gourd.
69. What’s the most tedious thing for pumpkins? Stringing lights on their vines for Halloween.
70. What is a pumpkin’s favorite Beatles song? Here Comes The Squash.
71. What happens when pumpkins listen to Justin Bieber too much? They get Bieber Squash Fever.
72. How did the arrogant pumpkin get voted off the island? His fellow competitors couldn’t stand his atti-squash anymore.
73. Why was the baby pumpkin crying? He was having a melt-gourd.
74. How does a pumpkin pole dance? It vines around the pole sensuously.
75. What did the cool pumpkin say to his friends? Let’s get this pumpkin party started!
76. Why was the pumpkin so clumsy? It was always stubbing its toe squash.
77. What do you call a snobby pumpkin? Stuck-squash.
78. Why do pumpkins take so long to get ready in the morning? Because they throw mini-tantrums and refuse to put their stem on.
79. How did the pumpkin saber lose his first duel? He didn’t anticipate his opponent’s smash-a-squash move.
80. What did the pumpkin say to his arch nemesis? I’m going to roast you so hard.
81. Why was the gardener screaming at the pumpkins? They kept squashing her flowers.
82. What did the pumpkin say to his girlfriend after she got a horrible haircut? Um, your hair looks…gourdgeous?
83. Why was the punk band pumpkin excluded from the Battle of the Bands? He was too much of a pie-phone to play with others.
84. How did the hipster pumpkin start a riot at Starbucks? By demanding they add pumpkin spice to their Frappuccinos.
85. Why did the Starbucks barista roll their eyes at the hipster pumpkin? Because it was being an annoying basic squash.
86. What band does the punk rocker pumpkin idolize? Smashing Pumpkin Patch Kids.
87. How did the pumpkin rebel against his parents? By painting himself black and only befriending bats.
88. Why was the baby pumpkin crying on Halloween night? Because he didn’t want his stem carved.
89. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite food? Seed it to believe it – pumpkin seeds!
90. Why couldn’t the pumpkin find his way through the corn maze? He was all turned around in the stalks.
91. What did one pumpkin say to the other while stuck in the rain? I’m feeling soaked to my gourd!
92. How does a pumpkin stay protected from the elements? With an um-brrr-ella.
93. Why did the hipster pumpkin become homeless? Because he was too cool to get a job.
94. What did the pumpkin say to his girlfriend during a romantic lakeside stroll? I love you with all my seed.
95. Why did the angry man kick the pumpkin off his porch? It was rotten.
96. How can you tell a pumpkin is getting old? It develops squash lines on its rind.
97. Why was the punk rocker pumpkin banned from the venue? Stage smashing and lighting fires violated safety gourdlines.
98. What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with your mom? Pun-kin pie!
99. What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with your dad? Pop-kin pie!
100. Why did the pumpkin refuse to participate in the pumpkin catapult contest? It didn’t want to get smashed!

Frequently Asked Questions about Pumpkin Jokes

Q: Where do pumpkins go for fun?

A: The squash club!

Q: What’s a pumpkin’s favorite cereal?

A: Pumpkin Spice Cheerios!

Q: How does a pumpkin contact its friends?

A: With its pumpkin vines!

Q: What did the pumpkin say to his crush?

A: I yam what I yam because of you!

Q: How do pumpkins stay in shape?

A: Lots of squat-ashes and push-me pull-me’s!

Q: What’s the most exciting thing for a pumpkin on Halloween?

A: Getting to be a jack-o-lantern and light up the night!

Q: What’s a pumpkin’s favorite social media platform?

A: Pinsta-squash!

Q: Why are pumpkins the life of the party?

A: They have electrifying personalities that light up the room!

Q: How does a pumpkin rebel against society?

A: By painting his shell neon orange and only hanging out with punk bats!

Q: What does a pumpkin do for fun on the weekends?

A: He hangs out with his gourd friends at the patch!

I hope you enjoyed these 100 hilarious pumpkin jokes! Let me know if you need any more comedy or educational content on pumpkins and autumn fun. I’d be happy to write more punny jokes and in-depth posts on everyone’s favorite fall vegetable. Don’t be shy, give me a shout!