Going to school can be stressful and tiresome for students of all ages. However, funny school jokes can provide some much-needed comic relief and laughter to get you through the day.
In this post, we’ve compiled 100 of the funniest school jokes around. From teacher and student jokes, to recess, homework, and school lunch jokes, there’s something hilarious here for everyone. So get ready to laugh and take a break from the books with this comprehensive list of funny school jokes!
Funny Jokes About Teachers
Teachers have a tough job educating and managing a classroom of rowdy students. That’s why they make such great subjects for funny jokes! Here are 25 funny teacher jokes that will make you laugh (and be glad you’re not the one having to deal with these wild students!).
1. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to class?
Because her students were so bright!
2. How do you make a teacher roll on the floor laughing?
Write the answers to a math test on the ceiling!
3. What’s the difference between a teacher and a steamroller?
It’s harder to reason with a steamroller!
4. Why did the teacher jump up and down?
To try and get their class’ attention!
5. What do you call teachers who go too far?
Taxi drivers!
6. Why do teachers make bad lovers?
Because they give too many tests!
7. Did you hear about the teacher who took their class to the museum?
It was a real work of art trying to keep the students focused!
8. Why do some teachers wear sunglasses?
Because their classes are so bright!
9. What did the teacher say when their student couldn’t name any of the American states?
The student was obviously Alaska last question!
10. Why do teachers make the best party guests?
Because they grade everyone on the curve!
11. Why did the teacher put on rubber gloves before using the photocopier?
She didn’t want her copies to be stained with fingerprints!
12. What do you call a teacher who can’t even follow their own notes?
Lost!
13. Why do teachers get to school so early?
To get a prime parking spot!
14. Did you hear about the teacher who went grocery shopping?
They had a list of students’ names and bought snacks for the entire class!
15. Why do math teachers make excellent dancers?
They have all the right angles!
16. What do you call teachers who eat together?
A faculty lunch!
17. Why did all the teachers take summer jobs as waiters and waitresses?
For the tips!
18. How do teachers get around the school?
On lesson plans!
19. Why was the teachers’ staff meeting so noisy?
All the staff kept raising points!
20. Did you hear about the teachers who went on strike demanding higher pay?
They were willing to teach the students a lesson!
21. Why do teachers have eyes in the back of their heads?
To see what the students are up to!
22. How do most teachers decorate their bedrooms?
They use lots of rulers and protractors!
23. What’s the worst thing about being a kindergarten teacher?
You’re constantly being looked down on!
24. Why do teachers make the best weather forecasters?
They have lots of experience with Cloud-based learning!
25. What do you call teachers who supervise recess?
Playground monitors!
Hilarious Student Jokes
From goofing off in class, to struggling through exams, we’ve all been there as students. Enjoy this collection of 25 funny jokes from the student perspective!
26. What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large-chested crab?
One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!
27. Student: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: I don’t know, can you?
Student: No, but I’ll give it my best shot!
28. Teacher: Did you complete your book report?
Student: No, I read the book instead!
29. Teacher: Why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
Student: You told me not to use tables!
30. How do you make time pass faster when you’re in school?
Put clocks all over the walls!
31. Teacher: Can anyone name the capital city of Vermont?
Student: V!
32. What’s the best part about being a rebellious student?
Breaking all the rules!
33. Student: Do you punish students for things they don’t do?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Student: Good, because I didn’t do my homework!
34. Teacher: What is pi?
Student: Half of a pizza!
35. Why do students study in the bathroom?
Because that’s where all the best cheat sheets are!
36. Student: Can I have a pencil sharpener?
Teacher: No, you’ve already got one.
Student: But this one is blunt!
37. Teacher: How do you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
Student: Don’t bite any insects!
38. Teacher: What does PG mean?
Student: Parental Guidance.
Teacher: And what does R mean?
Student: It means you’re on your own!
39. Teacher: What happens during chemical reactions?
Student: The chemicals run and hide!
40. Teacher: Use the word ‘contagious’ in a sentence.
Student: Our teacher is very contagious and that’s why the whole class scores A’s!
41. Why do students study Roman numerals in school?
Because they can’t afford new textbooks!
42. Teacher: What starts with ‘e’, ends with ‘e’ and only contains one letter?
Student: An envelope!
43. Why do students enjoy recess so much?
It gives their brains a break!
44. Teacher: How does sea grass reproduce?
Student: By budding, of course!
45. What’s the best thing about getting good grades?
It’s all about student loans!
46. Why do math textbooks always seem to have typos?
Because they lack proper proofreaders!
47. How do students improve their grades?
With lots of studying and pencil sharpening!
48. Why do students hate spelling tests so much?
All the words are so hard to spell check!
49. What’s the best thing about being the teacher’s pet?
Getting good marsk!
50. Why do students enjoy looking out of classroom windows so much?
It gives them a transparent view of the outside world!
Funny Lunch and Recess Jokes
Recess and lunch breaks are often the best parts of the school day. Celebrate these brief respites from learning with 25 funny jokes about school food and playtime!
51. Why did the student bring nuts to recess?
In case they got a game of tag going!
52. What did the fruits say during recess?
Let’s play dodge ball!
53. Why are school lunches like baseball games?
Because they both have hot dogs!
54. What did the girl bring for show and tell?
Lunch!
55. Why did Johnny get sent to the principal’s office during recess?
For calling snack time before it was announced!
56. Why did Suzy bring a ladder to school?
Because she wanted to go to high school!
57. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a vampire?
Lots of blood tests!
58. Why did the cookie go to the nurse’s office?
It was feeling crumby!
59. What did the boy do when his jelly sandwich fell peanut butter side down at lunch?
Nothing, he knew it would be a real mess to clean up!
60. Why do students eat cereal for breakfast and lunch at school?
It’s the only meal they can spoon!
61. Where do students eat lunch in a two-story school?
In the dining hall or the eating loft!
62. What did one tater tot say to the other during lunch period?
I’ve got a funny feeling we’re being deep fried!
63. Why did Johnny drop his lunch tray in the cafeteria?
Someone called his name and it caught him off his guard!
64. Why are students so sleepy after lunch?
Because they just had a siesta!
65. What did the students do when their cafeteria food started moving?
Called in the lunch ladies to re-serve it!
66. Why did the new student sit alone at lunch?
He didn’t want to make waves on his first day!
67. What did one school carrot say to the other?
This recess is going to be a real zoo!
68. Why are students so good at dodging flying food in the cafeteria?
They have plenty of food fight practice!
69. What did the students do when it started raining during recess?
Put on their raincoats and kept playing!
70. Why was the principal keeping such a close eye on the students during recess?
To playground monitor them!
71. What did the upset student do at lunchtime?
Raised a beef about the cafeteria options!
72. Why did the kindergartner bring their teddy bear to lunch?
For a beary nice picnic!
73. Why do cafeteria workers like tardy students?
It gives them time to ketchup!
74. What do you call friends who only see each other at school?
Classmates!
75. Why did the student bring trail mix to recess?
The playground had no snack bars!
Funny School Subject Jokes
From math to science, history to art, hit the books with these 25 subject-specific academic jokes!
76. Why couldn’t the geometry teacher solve his bedroom’s Feng Shui problems?
Because he only had a protractor!
77. Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven ate nine!
78. What did the science book say to the math book?
Wow, you’ve really got problems!
79. Why was the music teacher arrested?
They got caught fingering minors!
80. What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?
Beer!
81. Why did Johnny flunk his math test?
The teacher was multiplying the problems!
82. Why did the student get upset when the teacher called roll?
They didn’t want to be classified!
83. What do you call an ant who excels at math?
A mathematician!
84. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
85. What’s the difference between an art teacher and a math teacher?
Art teachers draw well, while math teachers draw bad!
86. I took the shell off my racing snail thinking it would make him run faster. But if anything, it made him more sluggish!
87. Why did the student get expelled from school for bringing prunes?
They contained too much offensive material!
88. Why do science teachers make the best party guests?
They have great chemistry!
89. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pizza by its diameter?
Pizza!
90. I was struggling on my science test today until the student next to me started macaroni art.
That really helped me draw some conclusions!
91. Why did the history book fly through the air?
It wanted a revolution!
92. The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense!
93. Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?
Because they kept saying Bach, Bach, Bach!
94. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom?
Because they’re extinct!
95. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Same middle name!
96. Why did the student get upset when his history teacher called on him?
He wasn’t expecting the Spanish Inquisition!
97. Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague!
98. Why did the science teacher giggle during the biology lesson today?
They were laughing about body parts!
99. I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind!
100. Why did the boy bring nuts and bolts to engineering class?
He thought they were hardware essentials!
Frequently Asked Questions About School Jokes
Need more laughs or looking for funny jokes on a specific school topic? Check out these commonly asked questions about funny school jokes:
What are some good jokes about homework and tests?
- Why did the student throw his homework in the fire? He wanted to see some real results!
- I thought I could cheat on the math test by sitting next to the smart kid. But apparently, he was only my imaginary friend!
- Teacher: Where’s your homework? Student: The dog played keep away with it!
- Student: Can I copy your homework? Classmate: I don’t know, can you?
Do you have any funny jokes about procrastinating on schoolwork?
- I was going to tell my homework jokes, but I procrastinated too long and now they’re overdue!
- Why do today what you can copy tomorrow? That’s my motto for finishing assignments!
- I tried to get motivated to finish my homework, but the best I could manage was pro-crastination.
- Teacher: Did you finish the project that was due today? Student: No, but I made a start on the excuses!
What are some jokes about school supplies?
- A piece of string walked into the classroom and the teacher yelled, “Get out of here! No string allowed in school!” The string walked back out, tied himself up into a bow, and snuck back in. When the teacher saw him, she said, “Wait a minute…aren’t you that piece of string?” The string replied, “Nope, just ribbon!”
- I lost my pencil today so I tried using a branch instead. It was pointless.
- I was in an art class critique when the kid next to me said my painting was terrible. But I didn’t take it too hard, his criticism was sketchy at best!
- My friend got in trouble for bringing clippers to school. But I think she was just trying to cut class!
What are some funny jokes about school buses?
- What do you call a school bus driver with no hands? Unemployed!
- Why don’t school buses have seatbelts? To raise attendance levels!
- Student: Can we listen to music on the bus ride home today? Bus driver: Sorry, that’s against the school’s transportation policy!
- I rode my bike to school today to avoid the bus. But when I got there all the bike racks were full so I had to park in the staff lot!
Do you have any funny jokes about detention or getting sent to the principal’s office?
- Getting sent to detention is the ultimate double punishment – you have to spend extra time in school learning!
- Student: I don’t think I deserve to be sent to detention! Principal: We don’t think you deserve it either, but it’s the best we could come up with.
- Teacher: I’m afraid I’m going to have to send you the principal’s office. Student: Fine by me, their chairs are way more comfortable!
- My parents were called into school after I got detention. They weren’t angry, just disappointed I got caught!
Wrap Up
We hope this comprehensive collection of 100 funny school jokes helped provide some much-needed laughs and brighten up your school day! Laughter can make the stress of classes, homework, and tests easier to manage.
Remember that joking around too much in school can disrupt learning, so aim to limit it to recess, lunch, and outside of class time. And of course, be respectful that no one likes being made the subject of mean jokes. As long as the comedy punches up, not down, sharing funny jokes can build classroom camaraderie and morale.
So next time you’re feeling bogged down by school work and responsibilities, revisit these school jokes for a quick funny pick-me-up! Need more academic comedy? Let us know in the comments below which school jokes were your favorites or if you have any others to add!
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