Love and relationships can be a complicated subject, that’s why we’ve put together this list of 100 hilarious love jokes and puns to make you smile.
Whether you’re single, in a relationship, or somewhere in between – these jokes are sure to tickle your funny bone. Some poke fun at dating, marriage and all the ups and downs of love. Others take a look at the lighter side of romance with clever wordplay. There are even a few anti-Valentine’s Day jokes for the cynics out there!
So get ready to laugh out loud and maybe even find a new favorite love joke to break the ice or make your partner giggle. Laughing together strengthens bonds and will have you falling in love amusingly!
Hilarious Love Jokes and Puns
- I asked my date to meet me at the gym today… she didn’t show up. That’s when I knew we weren’t gonna work out.
- I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
- My tinder date told me she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I never met herbivore.
- My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort.
- Online dating is going well. I’m dating 5 different laptop models.
- I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
- I got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. They told me I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.
- My wife asked me to stop singing “Wonderwall” to her. I said maybe…
- My girlfriend changed a lot after she became a vegan. It’s like I’ve never seen herbivore.
- I told my carpenter girlfriend that I didn’t want to date her anymore. She was pretty floored.
- My wife said I never buy her flowers. I didn’t even know she sold flowers!
- Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
- My wife treats me like a God. She ignores my existence unless she needs something from me.
- Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
- They say marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.
- My wife and I were happy for 20 years. And then we met.
- Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
- My wife asked me to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car, ignored her, and watched sports all day.
- Getting married is very much like going to the dentist – It’s expensive, inconvenient, and gets you into a whole world of pain.
- Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
- I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. She was thrilled to receive the big shipment of “snow problem!”
- My wife said I’m the cheesiest man she’s ever met. I said, “That’s nacho problem!”
- I only have enough blood to operate one organ at a time, so I had to make a choice between using my brain or my heart. I opted for the latter because who needs brains in love anyway!
- Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes.
- Are you French? Because Eiffel for you!
- There must be something wrong with my eyes. I can’t take them off of you!
- Did you invent the airplane? Because you seem Wright for me!
- Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material!
- Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.
- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Love Puns and Wordplay
- Olive you more than words can say!
- We make a perfect pear!
- You had me at aloha!
- Love fern another.
- You’re very a-peel-ing!
- Owl always love you!
- You are berry special to me.
- I love you a latte!
- You are my significant otter.
- You make my heart flutter.
Anti-Valentine’s Day Jokes
- What did one broken heart say to the other? Are you up for grabs?
- What’s the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? Your job still sucks!
- What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up his own incision? Suture self!
- How is a singles bar different from a circus? At the circus the clowns don’t talk.
- Did you hear about the necrophiliac that was in love with a girl so much, he couldn’t keep his hands off her?
- What’s the difference between love, true love, and showing off? Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.
- What’s the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is using a feather, perverted is using the whole chicken.
- Why is Christmas just like another day in the office? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
- What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
- What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Love Puns Using Names
- Olive you, Olivia!
- You’re very a-peel-ing, Anna!
- I lava you, Lava!
- You’re berry special, Barry!
- I love you a latte, Latte!
- You’re the apple of my eye, Adam!
- You make my heart flutter, Phil!
- I’m fondue of you, Fondue!
- You’re a gem, Jemma!
- You’re dynamite, Dan!
Cheesy Pick Up Lines
- Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?
- Are you a time traveler? Because I see you in my future!
- Do you have a name or can I call you mine?
- There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can’t take them off you.
- Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.
- Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got ‘fine’ written all over you.
- I was wondering if you could tell me: If you were a transformer, what vehicle would you be?
- Can I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.
- Do you like Disney? Because I can show you the world!
- Are you lost ma’am? Because heaven is a long way from here.
- Roses are red, violets are blue, I didn’t know perfect until I met you.
- Your smile brightens my day like the morning sun ray, you are my one and only, my forever Valentine bae.
- Your hug is the bestest, it makes me happiest, your kiss is the sweetest, you make me completest.
- With your cute little dimples and sparkling eyes, my heart skips a beat, you take me by surprise.
- More precious than gold, your worth can’t be told, with you by my side, I’ll never feel cold.
- Your laughter like music, your touch is so magic, being with you feels so perfect, almost static.
- My feelings for you have only gotten stronger, you help me up when I’m feeling down under.
- Holding you close feels like a dream, your love lifts me higher than any beam.
- The clock doesn’t matter when we’re together cause every moment with you lasts forever.
- I loved you yesterday, I love you still, I always have, I always will.
Funny Love Quotes
- “You can hold my hand if you want to ‘cause I want to hold yours too. We’ll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds.” – Peter Gabriel
- “Immature love says: ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says ‘I need you because I love you.’” – Erich Fromm
- “If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever.” – Alfred Tennyson
- “Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.” – Woody Allen
- “If you live to be 100, I want to live to be 100 minus 1 day so I never have to live without you.” – A.A. Milne
- “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” – Erich Segal
- “Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.” – Joan Crawford
- “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” – Dr. Seuss
- “Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.” – Louis de Bernieres
- “In case you ever foolishly forget, I am never not thinking of you.” – Virginia Woolf
Sweet Love Quotes
- “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” – Robert Heinlein
- “We loved with a love that was more than love.” – Edgar Allan Poe
- “Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.” – Voltaire
- “The heart wants what it wants. There’s no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that’s that.” – Woody Allen
- “Loving you never was an option. It was a necessity.” – Truth Devour
- “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” – Maya Angelou
- “You know it’s love when all you want is that person to be happy, even if you’re not part of their happiness.” – Julia Roberts
- “The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.” – Audrey Hepburn
- “Love doesn’t make the world go ’round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” – Franklin P. Jones
- “We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love—true love.” – Robert Fulghum
Frequently Asked Questions about Love and Relationships
Here are answers to some common questions people have about love, relationships, romance and more:
What makes a good relationship?
Some key ingredients for a healthy relationship include trust, honesty, commitment, mutual respect, laughter, playfulness, good communication, compromise, and intimacy. The most important factor is caring deeply about each other.
How do you know if you’re in love?
Common signs include not being able to stop thinking about the other person, wanting to be with them all the time, feeling excited when you’re together, connecting on a deep level, and accepting and loving each other fully. But there’s no one formula – when you know, you know.
How can you reignite passion in a relationship?
Ways to rekindle romance include going on dates, trying new activities together, taking a trip, expressing your love, carving out one-on-one time, saying what you appreciate about your partner, affectionate touches, intimacy and initiating sex.
What makes someone a good kisser?
A good kisser pays attention to their partner’s preferences, uses the right amount of pressure and tongue, has good rhythm/timing, reads body language, is confident yet responsive, and of course – doesn’t forget the lips and other erogenous zones!
What are fun things to do for Valentine’s Day besides dinner?
Unique date ideas include dessert tasting, couples massage, dancing, karaoke night, mini golf, game night, romantic picnic, love note scavenger hunt, cooking/baking class, sunset stroll, museum visit, wine tasting, pottery making and tons more!
How can you make your partner feel loved every day?
Small loving gestures like a good morning/goodnight text, holding hands, thoughtfully bringing them coffee, a sweet note, an unexpected kiss, listening attentively or thoughtful acts of service show your partner they are cherished.
How do you spice up a marriage?
Ways to add excitement include flirting, try new date nights, lingerie/roleplaying, surprise romantic getaways, vacation sex, reminisce about your history, change up your sexual routine, watch steamy movies together, and openly communicate your fantasies.
Hopefully these love jokes brought some laughter and amusement to your day! Laughter is good for relationships and can help bring you closer to your beloved. If you’re looking for more relationship tips or advice, feel free to ask. Wishing you much happiness and laughter in love!