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100 Hilarious St. Patrick’s Day Jokes That Will Blow Your Mind

To get you in the spirit of St. Paddy’s Day, here are 100 hilarious St. Patrick’s Day jokes that will make you laugh your shamrocks off! From leprechaun and Irish drinking jokes to funny Irish blessings and limericks, these will be sure to entertain you and your friends on March 17th.

St. Patrick’s Day is a fun holiday celebrated on March 17th every year. It originated as a religious feast day honoring St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland. Over time it has evolved into a celebration of Irish culture with parades, dancing, drinking, and wearing green. An essential part of St. Patrick’s Day celebrations is laughter – after all, the Irish are known for their sense of humor!

Funny St. Patrick’s Day Jokes

  1. What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control his drinking? Sir!
  2. What’s Irish and stays out all night? Paddy O’furniture!
  3. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day? Because regular rocks are too heavy.
  4. What do you call a fake Irish stone? A sham-rock.
  5. How is a best friend like a four-leaf clover? Because they are hard to find and lucky to have!
  6. Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because they’re always a little short.
  7. Why do leprechauns love St. Patrick’s Day? Because everything’s green!
  8. What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover? A rash of good luck.
  9. How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time? He’s Dublin over with laughter!
  10. What’s Irish and stays out all summer? Paddy O’Furniture!
  11. What do you get when you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy? A rash of good luck!
  12. How did the leprechaun get to the party? In a shamrock limo.
  13. Why don’t you iron a four-leaf clover? You don’t want to press your luck!
  14. What do you call a leprechaun who gets sent to jail? A wee felon!
  15. Why do frogs love St. Patrick’s Day? They’re always wearing green!
  16. Did you hear about the leprechaun who went to jail? He was a lepre-con!
  17. Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because they’re always a little short!
  18. What does it mean when you find a horseshoe on St. Patrick’s Day? It’s lucky you looked down!
  19. What do you get when you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy? A rash of good luck!
  20. Why does St. Patrick’s Day fall in the middle of March? Because it’s in between St. Patrick’s Day and St. Patrick’s Day!

Funny Irish Blessings and Sayings

  1. May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full moon on a dark night, and a smooth road all the way to your door.
  2. May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, and rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.
  3. May your home always be too small to hold all your friends.
  4. Here’s to a long life and a merry one. A quick death and an easy one. A pretty girl and an honest one. A cold pint and another one!
  5. May your pockets be heavy and your heart be light, may good luck pursue you each morning and night.
  6. May those who love us, love us. And those that don’t love us, may God turn their hearts. And if He doesn’t turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles so we’ll know them by their limping.
  7. May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live.
  8. May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past.
  9. May you always have walls for the winds, a roof for the rain, tea beside the fire, laughter to cheer you, those you love near you, and all your heart might desire.
  10. Here’s to our wives and girlfriends… May they never meet!
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Funny Irish Limericks

  1. There once was a leprechaun named McTavish, Who went on a date with a ravishing Spanish lass. He thought she was muy caliente, But it turned out she only spoke Gaelic, not Spanish, alas!
  2. An Irishman loved his beer and his whiskey as well, he’d drink every night ’til he’d stumbled and fell. His liver all swollen, kidney’s shot to hell, Oh why did he drink? Just to drown his poor spell!
  3. There once was a man named O’Bannion, Who loved to eat potatoes every afternoon. But when famine struck heavy and hard, Poor O’Bannion could not find a single spud in his yard!
  4. An Irishman stumbled out of a bar, After drinking five pints and a jar. He said, “I don’t care, If there are stairs over there! I can climb up them – I’m not that far!”
  5. A cute leprechaun met a pixie for tea, But the pixie was prettier than he. Said the leprechaun slyly, “Your eyes shine divinely!” And he gave her some gold coins, one two three.
  6. An Irishman went for a stroll on the moor, When he saw a wee fairy, for sure for sure! The fairy said “Sir, come dance in our ring!” But alas, fairies can’t make an Irishman sing!
  7. There once was a lass named Siobhan, who fell in love with a leprechaun man. He gave her gold that’s shiny and bright, if she promised she’d be his bride that night!
  8. A man named O’Leary thought love was a lark, Until he fell hard for a girl named Maura O’Clark. He said, “Darling dear, I love you it’s true!” Then she said, “I love whiskey more than you!”
  9. St. Paddy drove the snakes from Ireland’s shore, then made a brew of whiskey galore. He said “Everyone must drink, don’t be a bore!” And that’s why the Irish drink whiskey by the score!
  10. An Irish drank and drank late at night, When he could no longer stand up right. His friend said in jest, as he laid down to rest, “You can’t drink all day and not feel it, you oafish fool dressed in green from your head to your vest!”

Funny Irish Drinking Toasts and Jokes

  1. Here’s to a long life and a merry one. A quick death and an easy one. A pretty girl and an honest one. A cold pint and another one!
  2. May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead!
  3. Sláinte! Here’s to meat, drink, and cloth, to get us through the winter.
  4. May your neighbors respect you, trouble neglect you, and the angels protect you.
  5. Here’s to you and here’s to me, friends may we always be, but if by chance we disagree, here’s to me!
  6. May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been, the foresight to know where you’re going, and the insight to know when you’ve had too much to drink!
  7. What do you get when you cross an Irishman with a four-leaf clover? A drunk looking for more booze!
  8. Here’s to a long life and a merry one, a quick death and an easy one, a pretty girl and an honest one, a cold beer and another one.
  9. St. Patrick was a gentleman who through strategy and stealth, Drove all the snakes from Ireland, here’s to a drink to his health! But not too many beverages, lest you lose yourself and then, Forget the good St. Patrick and see all those snakes again!
  10. May the Irish hills caress you. May her lakes and rivers bless you. May the luck of the Irish enfold you. May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you.
  11. What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and Irish funeral? One less drunk!
  12. May your thoughts be as glad as the shamrock. May your heart be as light as a song. May each day bring you bright, happy hours that stay with you all year long.
  13. Here’s to you and here’s to me, And here’s to friends we’ll always be, And if we should disagree, To Hell with you, Here’s to me!
  14. May your glass be ever full, may the roof over your head be always strong, and may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead!
  15. Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
  16. What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.79, deer nuts are always under a buck!
  17. May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full moon on a dark night, and the road downhill all the way to your door.
  18. Here’s to you and here’s to me, and here is hoping we never disagree. But if we do, then here’s to me!
  19. May you never forget what is worth remembering, or remember what is best forgotten.
  20. To our wives and girlfriends…may they never meet!
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Funny St. Patrick’s Day One-Liners

  1. What’s Irish and stays out all night? Patty O’Furniture!
  2. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day? Because regular rocks are too heavy!
  3. I told my Irish friend there was no alcohol in my fridge. He said, “Whiskey fridge that?!”
  4. How did the leprechaun get to the party? In a shamrock limo.
  5. What does it mean when you find a horseshoe on St. Patrick’s Day? It’s lucky you looked down!
  6. Did you hear about the leprechaun who went to jail? He was a lepre-con!
  7. Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because they’re always a little short!
  8. What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk!
  9. How are a best friend and a four-leaf clover alike? They’re both lucky to find and hard to lose!
  10. Why do frogs love St. Patrick’s Day? Because they’re always wearing green!
  11. How did the Irish Jig get started? Too much to drink and not enough restrooms!
  12. What would you get if you crossed a leprechaun with a Texan? A pot of chili at the end of the rainbow!
  13. Why can’t you iron a four-leaf clover? You don’t want to press your luck!
  14. What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover? A rash of good luck!
  15. Why is Ireland the richest country in the world? Because its capital is always Dublin.
  16. What does it mean when you find a horseshoe on St. Patrick’s Day? It’s lucky you looked down!
  17. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day? Because regular rocks are too heavy!
  18. What do you get if you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy? A rash of good luck!
  19. Why do frogs love St. Patrick’s Day? They’re always wearing green!
  20. How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

Funny St. Patrick’s Day Conversation Jokes

  1. What’s Irish and bounces around the room? A leprechaun at a birthday party!
  2. Englishman: Top o’ the morning to ya! Irishman: And the rest of the day to you too!
  3. Wife: I wish you didn’t drink so much, a woman needs a sober husband. Husband: And a man needs a drunk wife!
  4. Englishman: Do you have any Irish in you? Irishwoman: No. Englishman: Would you like some?
  5. Kelly: My friend Patrick always drinks too much. Shannon: Well, every Patrick has his thirst!
  6. Wife: I heard that drinking makes you smarter. Husband: Great, so from now on you’re sticking to soda!
  7. Murphy: I’ve only had two beers all day! Reilly: It’s only 9 in the morning…
  8. Englishman: How do you make holy water? Irishman: You boil the hell out of it!
  9. Wife: You come home drunk every night! Husband: How do you know, you’re never awake at 3am?
  10. Son: Dad, have you ever been to Ireland? Dad: Son, I’ve never been sober enough to get that far!
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Funny Irish Pick Up Lines

  1. On St Patty’s Day will you be my lucky charm?
  2. If you were a pot of gold, would you let me look at the end of your rainbow?
  3. Are you as magically delicious as Lucky Charms?
  4. If I were a leprechaun, would you let me hide my pot of gold in your rainbow?
  5. Are you from Ireland? Because my Irish eyes are smiling at you.
  6. Can I pinch you even though it’s not St. Patrick’s Day yet?
  7. Are you from Ireland? Because every time I look at you, I feel drunk with desire!
  8. I must be a four leaf clover, because I’m one in a million and lucky to have found you!
  9. Can I get you an Irish Car Bomb? It’s a drink, not a threat, I promise!
  10. Let’s do some keg stands and get Irish on each other tonight!

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) about St. Patrick’s Day

  1. When is St. Patrick’s Day? St. Patrick’s Day is celebrated annually on March 17th. The holiday falls on that date because it is the anniversary of the death of St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland.
  2. Why do we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? St. Patrick’s Day was originally a religious feast day in honor of St. Patrick. Over time it evolved into a celebration of Irish culture and heritage.
  3. Why is the shamrock associated with St. Patrick’s Day? According to legend, St. Patrick used the three-leaf clover, or shamrock, to explain the Holy Trinity when he was converting the Irish to Christianity.
  4. Why is everything green on St. Patrick’s Day? The color green is strongly associated with Ireland and has been for centuries. Wearing green is seen as a way to show your Irish pride on St. Patrick’s Day.
  5. Why do people pinch each other on St. Patrick’s Day? The tradition of pinching people who don’t wear green is thought to have originated back when people wore green ribbons to show solidarity with Irish independence. Not wearing one would get you pinched!
  6. What is the most popular St. Patrick’s Day tradition? Parades are the most well-known St. Patrick’s Day tradition. Cities all over the world host parades complete with floats, marching bands, dancers and more celebrating Irish culture.
  7. What are some traditional St. Patrick’s Day foods and drinks? Some classics are corned beef and cabbage, shepherd’s pie, Irish soda bread, Guinness beer and Irish whiskey.
  8. Are there any famous St. Patrick’s Day celebrations? Some of the biggest parades in the world happen in Dublin, New York City, and Boston. Chicago even dyes its river green for the festivities!
  9. What are some fun ways to celebrate at home? Host your own Irish dance party, make shamrock-shaped foods and desserts, decorate with shamrocks and rainbows, watch classic Irish films, and tell Irish jokes!

I hope these 100 hilarious St. Patrick’s Day jokes get you in the spirit for this joyful Irish holiday! May the luck of the Irish be with you this March 17th. Sláinte!