Jokes for him is one of the best relationship tips for women. Laughter relieves stress, lightens the mood, and brings you closer together. Sharing jokes and funny stories shows you’re paying attention to what makes him laugh.
A sense of humor also makes you more attractive. Studies show both men and women are more attracted to partners who make them laugh. So don’t be afraid to tell a silly joke or witty quip to make his day.
This list has 100 funny jokes for him guaranteed to get a laugh. From cute and corny to dirty adult humor, these will spice up your relationship and bring more laughter into your lives.
Cute Jokes For Him
Cute jokes show your soft, romantic side. Corny jokes make him laugh while showing you care.
1. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
They’d crack each other up.
2. What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.
3. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
4. What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?
Bison.
5. Why can’t a bicycle stand up by itself?
It’s two-tired.
6. What did the ocean say to the shore?
Nothing, it just waved.
7. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
8. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
9. Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems.
10. Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel!
Funny Dirty Jokes For Him
Dirty jokes are funny, flirty, and a little naughty. They show you have a wild side behind your sweet exterior. Just remember, timing and context are everything for risqué humor.
11. What’s the difference between light and hard?
You can sleep with a light on.
12. Why does Santa have such a big sack?
Because he only comes once a year.
13. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
14. What do a Rubik’s Cube and a penis have in common?
The more you play with them, the harder they get.
15. What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?
A dictator.
16. How is a woman like a road?
They both have manholes.
17. How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
18. What does a good bar and a good woman have in common?
Liquor in the front and poker in the back!
19. What’s the difference between your paycheck and your penis?
You don’t have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
20. Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Funny Nerdy Science Jokes For Him
Science jokes are perfect for nerdy guys. These intellectual jokes will stimulate his brain while making him laugh.
21. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He’s all right now.
22. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.
23. Why can’t bicycles stand up on their own?
Because they’re two tired.
24. Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it’s pretty basic stuff.
25. What do you do with a dead chemist?
You barium.
26. I heard oxygen and magnesium got together. OMg!
27. Two atoms are walking down the street together. One says, “I think I lost an electron.” The other replies, “Are you sure?” The first one says, “Yeah, I’m positive.”
28. Did you hear about the depressed chemist? He decided he didn’t have the solution, so he lost all his resolve.
29. Why is chemistry better than biology?
Because you can extract DNA from rhubarb but you can’t rhubarb DNA from an extract.
30. Schrödinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.
Funny Sarcastic Jokes For Him
Sarcastic jokes poke gentle fun at his flaws and the quirks of your relationship. Just don’t overdo the sarcasm, or it will come across as mean instead of funny.
31. This morning my boyfriend asked me what day it was. I said, “It’s our 6 month anniversary!” He looked confused and said, “No it’s not, it’s Wednesday.” Men…so hopeless about romance!
32. I asked my boyfriend to take me out to dinner and then shopping this weekend. He said, “Can I just give you money instead?” What a keeper!
33. I told my boyfriend we should spice things up in bed. He said okay and ate a whole jar of jalapeños before getting under the sheets. Be careful what you wish for!
34. I haven’t spoken to my boyfriend all week because we had a fight. It’s been really quiet around here. I think I’m going to lose this argument.
35. I got my boyfriend a fridge for his birthday. His response? “I love it, but where am I going to put my food now?” He’s not always the brightest!
36. My boyfriend said I had no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and right.
37. I asked my boyfriend to guess what day it was. He said, “Hmm, Friday?” So I slammed the bedroom door in his face. Maybe now he’ll remember our anniversary.
38. I told my boyfriend to kiss me where it stinks. So he kissed my elbow. Romance isn’t dead after all.
39. I said, “I love you.” He said, “Me too.” Wow, he’s so eloquent and romantic! Sigh.
40. My boyfriend asked what I wanted for Valentine’s Day, so I showed him a picture of a yacht. Guess what he got me? A poster of a yacht. Close enough!
Funny Work Jokes For Him
Everyone complains about work sometimes. These relatable jokes poke fun at workplace culture to help him laugh away stress.
41. What does a janitor say when he jumps out of the closet? Supplies!
42. How does NASA organize a party? They planet.
43. My boss emailed me to tell me that as a hardworking employee, I will be rewarded with a substantial pay rise. I emailed back to say thanks for the raise in my salary.
He then replied to say he didn’t mean a raise in my salary, just in his own satisfaction. My boss is hilarious!
44. I asked my boss if I could leave work early to watch the World Cup. He said, “Only if you let us win.” I let him score 5 goals, and he still wouldn’t let me leave!
45. Working from home this week has been great. I’m the most productive I’ve ever been. I can do a week’s worth of work from bed in just 3 days!
46. My colleague told me he failed his drug test at work today. I said, “What drug were you on when you thought that was something you should share with me?”
47. The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest.
48. I hate when my boss uses fancy jargon terms like “WTF” and “ASAP.” Learn to speak English like the rest of us!
49. My co-worker asked me if March comes before or after February. I told him it’s right between February and April. He’s so clueless sometimes!
50. I asked my boss if I could have a few days off around Christmas. He said, “It depends how many carols you can sing.” He’s such a comedian.
Funny Food Jokes For Him
Food jokes poke fun at favorite snacks and meals. What does he love to eat? Tailor these to tease his taste buds.
51. What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!
52. How did the cheese feel when it got shredded? Grate!
53. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He felt crummy.
54. What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe! You idiot!
55. Why do bananas wear sunscreen? Because they peel easily.
56. Why did the kid throw the butter out the window? He wanted to see a butterfly.
57. How do you know when you’re eating an elephant? It tastes like chicken.
58. What did one bean say to another? How ya bean?
59. Why did the tomato blush? It saw the salad dressing.
60. What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me!
Funny Knock Knock Jokes For Him
Knock knock jokes are classic corny humor. Have fun taking turns telling these cheesy jokes.
61. Knock knock. Who’s there? Howard. Howard who? Howard I know?
62. Knock knock. Who’s there? Abbey. Abbey who? Abbey stung me on the nose! Ouch!
63. Knock knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it’s cold out here!
64. Knock knock. Who’s there? Aaron. Aaron who? Aaron the side of caution.
65. Knock knock. Who’s there? Ida. Ida who? Ida know, I’ve got amnesia!
66. Knock knock. Who’s there? Mikey. Mikey who? Mikey doesn’t fit in the keyhole!
67. Knock knock. Who’s there? Cows go. Cows go who? No, cows go moo!
68. Knock knock. Who’s there? Alpaca. Alpaca who? Alpaca the suitcase, you load up the car!
69. Knock knock. Who’s there? Anita. Anita who? Anita to borrow some sugar.
70. Knock knock. Who’s there? Sherwood. Sherwood who? Sherwood like to be friends!
Cheesy Pick Up Line Jokes For Him
Cheesy pick up lines make great jokes between couples. Corny flirtation never gets old.
71. Do you have a bandaid? I scraped my knees falling for you.
72. Are you French? Because Eiffel for you.
73. Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’m searching for.
74. Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.
75. Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?
76. Do you like Star Wars? Because Yoda only one for me!
77. Are you a time traveler? Because I see you in my future!
78. Are you a magician? It’s the strangest thing, but every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.
79. Is your body from McDonald’s? Because I’m lovin’ it!
80. Do you have 11 protons? Cause you’re sodium fine!
Funny Dad Jokes For Him
Every dad has a stash of bad punny dad jokes. Your boyfriend will love how corny these are.
81. What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
82. Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing? In case they get a hole in one!
83. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
84. I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
85. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between us, something smells!
86. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
87. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
88. Did you hear the joke about the roof? Never mind, it’s over your head.
89. Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
90. Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They always take things literally.
Funny Blonde Jokes For Him
Blonde jokes play with silly stereotypes. Keep in mind, stereotypes aren’t always accurate or kind. Use selectively rather than excessively.
91. Why did the blonde stare at the can of orange juice? Because it said “concentrate.”
92. How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
93. Why do blondes have more fun? Because they don’t know any better.
94. What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever!
95. What do you call a blonde with pigtails? A blowjob with handlebars.
96. What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? Change.
97. Why was the blonde fired from the M&M’s factory? She kept throwing out the W’s.
98. Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead? She wanted to make up her mind.
99. How do you keep a blonde busy? Write ‘Please flip over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.
100. Why do blondes wear underwear? To keep their ankles warm.
Frequently Asked Questions About Jokes for Him
Making your man laugh strengthens your bond. Use these jokes to lighten the mood and have more fun together. But jokes are complicated, so you likely have questions. Here are answers to some FAQs about joking with your guy.
Should I surprise him with jokes or ask first?
Surprising him can be more fun! A silly joke out of the blue is delightful. But read his mood – if he’s grumpy or tired, asking first may go over better.
How do I deliver jokes confidently?
Confidence is key! Say the joke with energy, eye contact, and a smile. Commit to the cheesy punchline. If you giggle or seem unsure, it falls flat. Own the corniness!
What if he doesn’t laugh at my joke?
Don’t take it personally. His sense of humor may just be different. Laugh it off and try a new joke. You’ll figure out what makes him laugh over time.
How risqué can dirty jokes be?
Tone down very explicit jokes unless you know he’ll appreciate them. Pay attention to comfort level and only tell naughty jokes once you know each other well. When in doubt, keep it mildly cheeky.
Should I limit joke telling so he doesn’t get annoyed?
Yes, moderation is key. Know when to stop so you don’t come across as trying too hard. Read cues like eye rolls. Aim for a few jokes per conversation, not hundreds.
What if he laughs but seems uncomfortable?
Some laughter signals discomfort, not genuine amusement. Notice body language cues like cringing or forced chuckles. Apologize if a joke misses the mark and switch topics.
How can I remember more jokes?
Reading joke lists helps build your repertoire. When you hear a new joke, write it down. With practice, you’ll naturally remember more. Telling jokes also keeps them fresh.
So there you have it – 100 hilarious jokes for him! From cute puns to dirty adult humor, you’re sure to find jokes that tickle his funny bone. Keep your relationship playful and full of laughter. After all, couples who laugh together last together!
Add Comment