As a parent, you want your child to do well in school and have fun! What better way to lighten the mood than by telling your kids some hilarious school jokes?
Laughter truly is the best medicine. Telling school jokesschool jokes can help your child relax and take their mind off any school-related worries, even if just for a little while. Plus, making them laugh and smile will boost their mood and self-esteem.
In this post, we’ve compiled 100 of the absolute funniest school jokes that are clean and kid-friendly. Consider this your ultimate collection of side-splitting jokes about school that you can tell your kids today!
Why You Should Tell Your Kids School Jokes
Before we dive into the jokes, let’s quickly go over some key reasons why you should tell school jokes to your kids:
- Reduces stress – School comes with a lot of anxiety and pressure for kids. Funny jokes are a great distraction and can help them temporarily forget their worries.
- Boosts mood – Laughing triggers the release of endorphins which are “feel good” chemicals in the brain. School jokes can instantly lift your kid’s mood.
- Enhances learning – Humor engages the brain. Telling jokes can help your child retain information and even spark creativity.
- Creates bonds – Sharing laughs together strengthens your relationship and connection with your child.
- Teaches social skills – Learning and telling jokes helps your kid master their storytelling skills and makes them more socially adept.
The bottom line is school jokes are not only hilarious, but they also provide some great benefits for your child’s emotional, cognitive, and social development. Now let’s make your kid laugh with these funny school jokes!
100 Hilarious School Jokes for Kids
Get ready to laugh-out-loud! Here are 100 funny and family-friendly school jokes to tell your kids:
School Morning Jokes
Let’s start with some funny jokes about getting ready for school in the morning:
- Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school? Because her students were so bright!
- What’s the best way to start the day? With a balanced breakfast – a math book in one hand and an English book in the other!
- Why was the boy staring at his carton of orange juice during breakfast? It said “concentrate”!
- Student: “I’m not going to school today.” Parent: “Why not?” Student: “Well, one of the chickens on our farm laid a really weird egg. I need to go figure out what it means!”
- What do you call a pig who gets up early, eats a big breakfast, and goes to school? A scholar-pig!
- Why did Johnny bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school!
- What travels all over the world but stays in the corner of one room? A classroom stamp!
- Why did the student eat their homework? The teacher said it was a piece of cake!
- How do students stay cool on hot school days? They sit close to the fan – the teacher!
- Why did the math textbook look so sad? It had too many problems!
School Subject Jokes
What’s a joke list about school without some corny and cute jokes about classic school subjects?
- Why couldn’t the astronaut book go to space? It needed more Space!
- I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
- Which is faster – hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch a cold!
- My math teacher called me average…how mean!
- Why do scientists prefer using beakers in the lab? Because they’d get bored working with flasks!
- Want to hear a joke about chemistry? NaH.
- Which state has the most gravity? Illinois, because Chicago is very attractive!
- What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing – you can’t cross a vector with a scalar.
- Why do math books always look so sad? They’re full of problems!
- I used to hate math, but then I realized decimals have a point.
- Why was the equal sign feeling smug? Because it knew it was greater than everything else.
- Why was the English textbook feeling depressed? It had too many issues!
- What did the science book say to the math book? “I’ve got problems.”
- What do you call an annoying grammar textbook? A bother with every chapter!
- Why should you never trust atoms? They make up everything!
What better way to poke fun at school than with jokes about your kid’s teachers? Just make sure your child doesn’t repeat these at school!
- What do you call a teacher who doubles as a lawyer? A sue-per teacher!
- Why can’t principals suspend subs? They can only suspend students!
- Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind…it’s tearable.
- Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because her class was so bright!
- What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher says spit out your gum and a train says “chew chew chew!”
- My teacher accused me of plagiarism. Their words, not mine!
- A substitute teacher was struggling to open a combination lock. She heard the kids snickering and yelled, “Stop it! This is hard!” One student replied, “That’s what she said!”
- A new teacher tried to make her first day fun by decorating the classroom with lots of posters. It ended up being a little too excessive though because she literally covered every square inch! You could say she went over-bored.
- Why do teachers like summer vacation? So they can finally catch up on their Marx and Engels!
- I passed all my classes except for geometry. You could say I earned straight A’s and one D.
- Why was the English teacher arrested? For putting a comma splice!
- I failed astronomy so many times in college, I lost count of the stars.
- Why did the geography teacher quit her job? There was no map for her in that career!
- What do you call someone who keeps interrupting a math teacher? A distractor!
- Why does no one talk to the librarian? She has a huge list of overdue fines!
After slogging through all those classes, it’s finally time for a lunch break! Enjoy some funny jokes about school cafeterias and lunches:
- Why did Johnny spit out his sandwich at lunch? The other kids called it baloney!
- What did the lunch lady say to the slice of cake? “You dessert to be eaten!”
- Why did the student bring scissors to lunch? To cut the cheese!
- What did one plate say to the other plate? Lunch is on me!
- Why did the ketchup blush? It saw the salad dressing!
- What do you call an expert at making PB&J sandwiches? A jam master!
- Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
- What did the lunch lady say to the spoiled milk? “Time to retire!”
- Why was the cafeteria worker fired for stealing food? She took too many entrees!
- Why did the student eat her homework for lunch? The teacher said it was a piece of cake!
- Which lunch food is good at karate? Nun-Chucks!
- Why did Johnny drop his sandwich? It slipped out of his mind!
- How do you make an egg roll? Push it down a hill!
- What did the green pea say to the other peas? Nothing! Peas can’t talk!
- Why are they serving pizza in the cafeteria again? Students keep asking for a pizza the action!
Recess is the best part of the school day for most kids. Enjoy some playful jokes about hanging out on the playground:
- Why was recess only 10 minutes long? The teachers called it a break!
- What’s a ballerina’s favorite playground activity? Ballet class!
- Why do soccer players bring extra socks to recess? In case they get a goal!
- What did one slide say to the other slide? Want to go for a slide together?
- How did recess end? The bell rang!
- Why was swing feeling lonely on the playground? It had no one to hang out with!
- What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account? Prime mates!
- Where do baby trees go to school? Elementree school!
- What do you call a fly without wings? A walk!
- Why did Johnny run around the playground twice? He wanted to make it a round trip!
- How does a clown fix his broken teeter-totter? With a seesaw surgeon!
- Why did the little girl bring lip balm to recess? She wanted to playground it safe!
- What did one fireman’s pole say to the other? Slide on down!
- Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
- What do you call a girl with a frog on her head? Lily!
Homework and Test Jokes
Kids usually dread doing homework and taking tests. Lighten up these not-so-fun parts of school with these jokes:
- Why did Johnny do so poorly on his math test? There were too many problems!
- What’s the best jewelry for math tests? Pi-earrings!
- Why did the student get upset when her pen ran out of ink before a test? She wasn’t prepared for that plot twist!
- Which mythical creature helps kids study for tests? The Minataurs!
- Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
- Did you hear about the monster that helped kids study for spelling tests? It was the A-B-C-D-E-F-G-host!
- Why didn’t the geometry definitions study for the test? They already had all the angles covered!
- Why did Johnny name his pet zebra Checkers? It was good at helping with math homework!
- Why did the history textbook cry before the test? There were too many dates to remember!
- Why did Susie bring scissors and glue to class? She wanted to cut and paste her homework!
- How do you do well on word problems in math? Just take steps to solve them!
- Why was the math textbook feeling down? It had too many problems!
- Why was Johnny writing his history essay on a basketball? He had a good dribble!
- Why couldn’t the geometry student solve the proofs? All of the angles were obtuse!
- How do you do well on true or false tests? Just take an educated guess!
Let’s round up this joke list with some funny jokes about what goes on inside the classroom:
- Why was the classroom so noisy? The students had a roar-some time!
- How do you know when a class snake is upset? They start to hissssss.
- Why was the classroom cold? It was filled with chill students!
- What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? It gets toad away!
- Why was there a billboard in the classroom? The school was advertising their bulletin boards!
- Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes!
- What did the wall say to the other wall? Let’s meet at the corner!
- How did the geography class stay connected? With maps!
- Why are skeletons always so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin!
- Why do pencils get tired at school? They’re worn down to the nub!
- What do you say when your pencil breaks? “My point exactly!”
- Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? He wanted to go to high school!
- How do students practice safe social distancing? They space out in class!
- Why was there a bug on the teacher’s computer? It wanted to check out the web!
- Why was there thunder during math class? A storm was brewing!
Frequently Asked Questions About School Jokes
Here are answers to some common questions about school jokes:
Are school jokes only for kids?
Definitely not! While school jokes tend to focus on topics related to children and education, they can make anyone laugh, including teachers and parents. After all, who didn’t go through school themselves at some point? School jokes bring out the inner child in all of us.
What makes a joke school appropriate?
School appropriate jokes are clean, kid-friendly, and avoid controversial topics like politics, religion, violence, inappropriate language, and mature content. They poke gentle fun at universal school experiences like homework, cafeteria food, and classrooms.
Where can I find more school jokes?
This list has 100 school jokes, but there are plenty more funny jokes about school subjects you can find online or in joke books. Classics like “Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!” never get old. You can also get creative and come up with your own original school jokes.
When are school jokes inappropriate?
While most school jokes are harmless fun, it’s best to avoid telling ones that mock or make fun of specific teachers or students at your child’s school. Any joke that singles someone out or is intended to embarrass or humiliate them should be off limits.
How can I get my child to tell me school jokes?
The best way is to start them off by telling a few school jokes yourself first. Keep it lighthearted and fun without any pressure. You can prompt them saying “That joke was funny! Do you know any funny school jokes?” Kids love to mimic and learn from parents, so yours will likely try to come up with their own jokes.
Make Your Kid Smile With These Hilarious School Jokes
We hope this exhaustive list of 100 funny school jokes gave you and your kids a good laugh! Laughter can make even the most stressful school day a little brighter.
Next time your child is feeling down about school, bored on the way to class, or just needs a mood boost, try out a few of these clever and clean jokes about all things academic. From corny teacher puns to cheese lunch jokes, these are sure to put a smile on their face.
So what are you waiting for? Start telling these school jokes and bring the funny to the classroom today! Just don’t blame us if your child gets in trouble for cracking up in class