Hop On This 100 Horse Jokes That Will Blow Your Mind!

With horses having an important place in our lives, it’s no wonder horses are featured in many jokes! Horse jokes allow us to see these majestic creatures in a humorous light. In this blog post, we’ve gathered 100 of the funniest horse jokes that will make you laugh out loud!

Whether you’re a beginner equestrian or a seasoned pro, you’re sure to get a kick out of these hilarious horse quips and puns. So saddle up and get ready to trot through this list of side-splitting jokes about our four-legged friends!

Why Are Horse Jokes So Popular?

Horses have many qualities that make them ripe for joke-telling. Here are some top reasons horse jokes are so common and well-loved:

  • Their unique features: With their flowing manes, strong hindquarters, and big teeth, horses have many distinctive physical traits that are easy to play on for comedic effect.
  • Their silly behavior: Horses often act in funny or awkward ways, like getting spooked easily or chewing messily with their big lips. These quirky mannerisms give jokesters a lot of material.
  • Wordplay potential: “Horse” rhymes with many other words, allowing for excellent puns and wordplay. This opens up many possibilities for horse-related humor.
  • Wide relevance: As an animal familiar to people worldwide, jokes about horses have very broad appeal. Horse references can be easily understood by audiences everywhere.
  • Long history: As one of the first domesticated animals, horses have been interacting with humans for thousands of years. This gives a deep well of material for horse jokes to draw from.

So whether it’s their distinctive look, silly antics, or long history with humans, horses make the perfect subject for funny jokes! Now let’s get on with the laughs!

Clean Jokes About Horses

Let’s start off with some family-friendly horse humor…

1. What do you call a horse that lives next door?

A neigh-bor!

2. How do horses stay up to date with the latest news?

They read the day’s paper.

3. Why don’t horses like taking tests?

Because they prefer hay over A’s!

4. What do you call a horse who’s a klutz?

A fall-y!

5. Why did the horse keep looking at his phone?

He was waiting for a text!

6. What happens when a horse lands on a castle tower?

The princess says, “Hey, get off my tower!”

7. What do you get when you cross a horse with a lamb?

A sheepish centaur!

8. How do horses get from place to place?

With a neigh-vigation system!

9. Why don’t horses use computers very often?

They’re afraid they might get a virus!

10. How do horses stay connected to the internet?

With stable wifi!

Horse Puns That Will Make You Smile

If you love a good pun, you’ll get a kick out of these equine wordplays…

11. What do you call a popular horse?

A cele-bri-ty!

12. Why did the horse keep winning staring contests?

She was an expert at horseplay!

13. What do you call a horse who never knows where he’s going?


14. Why do seahorses make bad decisions?

They don’t have good horse-sense!

15. What do you call a sick horse?


16. How did the horse feel losing his shoes?


17. What do you call a horse who works as a psychic?

A fortune-trotter!

18. Why was the horse’s voice high-pitched at the party?

Because he whinnied a lot!

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19. What do you call a horse who writes music?

A compo-neigh-er!

20. Why was the horse’s phone bill so high?

He liked to chat and gallop!

Silly Horse Jokes That Will Make You Giggle

If you like goofy humor, these silly horse jokes will make you grin and giggle…

21. What did the horse say when he fell?

“I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”

22. How do you make a horse laugh?

Tell him a silly joke so he can get a good whinny out!

23. What’s a horse’s favorite kind of music?


24. What do you call a dancing horse?

A hip-hop-otamus!

25. Why don’t horses ever win hide and seek?

They’re always horsing around!

26. What do you call a horse who loves soy sauce?

A soy-horse!

27. How do horses keep their breath fresh?

With horse mints, of course!

28. Why do horses eat so slowly?

Because they like to take their time and stable their food!

29. What do you call a funny horse?

A hilarious filly!

30. Why don’t horses tell jokes when they travel?

The laughs get lost in trot-slation!

Horse Jokes for Kids

Here are some horse jokes that are clean and family-friendly for kids…

31. What do you call a young horse?

A little colt!

32. How does a horse get to school?

By colt!

33. What do you call a horse who lives in a bakery?

A pastry stallion!

34. Why did pony want to take dance lessons?

To learn how to hip-hop!

35. What do horses take when they get sick?

Cough stirrups!

36. What do you call a sleepy horse?

A nightmare!

37. What do you get when you cross a horse with ice cream?

The Giddyup Sundae Surprise!

38. Where do baby horses go during the day?

The day mare center!

39. How do horses keep their shoes shiny?

With saddle polish!

40. What do you call a horse who loves watching sports?

A foal-fan!

Funny Cowboy Horse Jokes

Saddle up for these funny cowboy-themed horse jokes…

41. What do you call a slow Texas cowboy?

A meander-thal!

42. Why do cowboys ride horses instead of driving cars?

They prefer Hay-undais over Hyundais!

43. How do cowboy horses stay in shape?

They neigh-robic exercise!

44. Why do cowboys rarely go on vacation?

Because they prefer to just rodeo home!

45. Why was the pony sad after the cowboy got off his back?

He was a little hoarse!

46. What do you call a pony with a sore throat?

A little hoarse!

47. How did the horse feel about his cowboy riding off into the sunset?

He was feeling abandoned stable!

48. What do you call a cowboy horse who moonlights as a magician?

Merlin the Mare!

49. Why don’t cowboys like using social media?

They prefer to just mosey along!

50. How did the cowboy find his lost horse?

He used his mare-dar!

Funny Horse One-Liners

If you like short and sweet horse jokes, check out these quick one-liners…

51. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Unless he’s a dentist.

52. A horse walked into a bar. Several patrons got up and left, realizing the danger of the situation.

53. I started taking horse tranquilizers to stay calm. Now I’m a little horse.

54. My horse’s favorite hobby is scrapbooking. She loves making col-lages.

55. What did the horse say when it fell? “I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”

56. Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish!

57. What did the police officer say to his stomach? You’re under a vest!

58. Where do sheep get their hair cut? At the baa-baa shop!

59. My horse friends understand me better than most people. They get me straight from the horse’s mouth.

60. A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said, “Why the long face?”

Random Horse Jokes

Enjoy this random assortment of funny horse jokes!

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61. What do you get when you cross a phone and a horse? A stalking mare!

62. Why was the horse afraid to go home? He was terrified of the foal-iage there!

63. How did the horse win the fashion contest? She had the most neigh-cklaces!

64. Why was the horse given an award? She raised over $10,000 for charity by hosting a sparty!

65. What kind of shoes do horses wear to weddings? Bridles and foals!

66. Why was the horse upset after finishing the pie eating contest? He was feeling a little hoarse!

67. What’s a horse’s favorite dessert? Chocolate moose!

68. Why do horses make bad dancers? They only know how to hip-hop!

69. How does a horse keep her mane looking great? Lots of horse-conditioner!

70. Why was the horse embarrassed at the party? He made a little foal of himself!

Horse Jokes That Adults Will Love

Now here are some horse jokes with a bit of adult humor…

71. What do you call a horse who’s just turned 18? A filly-legal!

72. Why don’t horses wear underwear? Because they don’t want to look like nay-sayers!

73. How can you tell when a horse is bored? When he’s always horsing around!

74. I tried horse therapy to become less stressed. Now I’m a little hoarse.

75. I took my horse to the doctor because he wasn’t feeling himself. Turns out it was just a phase.

76. My friend got sick after buying cheap horse meat. Now he’s feeling hoarse.

77. I wanted to teach my horse to go potty outside, but he kept saying “neigh.”

78. My horse is writing a memoir called “Trotting Down Memory Lane.” It’s a bit cheesy if I can be Frankenfurter.

79. I caught my horse using my computer to go on a dating site. Now he’s mare-ried.

80. My horse friend got a job delivering flowers. His business is really starting to boul-der.

Funny Dirty Horse Jokes

If you enjoy R-rated humor, check out these dirty horse jokes. Reader discretion is advised!

81. Why don’t horses wear pants? Because they prefer to go commando!

82. What did the horse say when he fell into mud? “I’m stuck in this swamp-ass!”

83. How can you tell when your horse needs a bath? When he starts smelling like ass-troturf!

84. I once knew a horse who was into bondage. His name was Reinhold.

85. What did the horse say when his friend got naked? “Let it all hang out, you sexy stallion!”

86. My friend’s horse got excited and asked to watch us in bed. That’s just too kinky, even for me.

87. I caught my horse reading “Fifty Shades of Neigh.” Looks like someone’s feeling frisky!

88. What did the flasher say to the horse? “Hey baby, want to see my colt 45?”

89. My horse has some weird fetishes. He loves watching My Little Pony roleplay.

90. What do horny horses say? “I’m feeling frisky tonight, let’s trot upstairs and I’ll put on my bridle!”

Horse Jokes: Fun Facts

Here are some fun facts about horses to accompany our hilarious horse jokes:

  • Horses have approximately 205 bones in their skeleton. No wonder they’re so good at horseplay!
  • The Przewalski’s horse is the only truly wild horse species still in existence. Most domestic horses are tamed from wild stock.
  • Horses can sleep both standing up and lying down. Some even sleep while walking!
  • Some horses live over 50 years. The oldest recorded horse was 62 years old.
  • Horses have bigger eyes than any other mammal that lives on land. Just look at those big peepers!
  • Horses can run shortly after birth. Foals can gallop almost immediately.
  • The horse’s brain weights an average of 22 oz, which is half the size of a human brain. But their brain still packs in plenty of horse sense!
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I hope you enjoyed exploring these horse facts while reading our hilarious horse jokes! Did any of the horse trivia surprise you? Let me know in the comments!

Horse Jokes: Summary

I hope this huge list of 100 horse jokes gave you lots of laughs and smiles! We covered tons of hilarious topics, including:

  • Clean horse jokes
  • Horse puns
  • Silly horse jokes
  • Kid-friendly horse jokes
  • Cowboy horse jokes
  • Funny horse one-liners
  • Random horse jokes
  • Adult horse jokes
  • Dirty horse jokes

Whether you love innocent horsey puns or naughty adult humor, I hope you found some hilarious horse jokes to make you laugh. Let me know which jokes were your favorites!

If you’re feeling sad, depressed or stressed, just come back and read this list of funny horse jokes again. Laughter is great medicine, and these horse quips are sure to lift your spirits. So feel free to bookmark this page and hoof it back anytime you need a laugh!

Frequently Asked Questions About Horse Jokes

Here are answers to some common questions about horse jokes:

1. Why are horse jokes so popular?

Horse jokes are popular because horses are familiar to people worldwide, have many quirky traits, and rhyme with many words – making them perfect for funny jokes!

2. Are horse jokes only for kids?

Definitely not! While some horse jokes are kid-friendly, many use adult humor and mature language. There are horse jokes to suit all ages.

3. Where can I find more jokes about horses?

This list has 100 horse jokes, but you can find many more horse jokes online, in joke books, and by asking other horse lovers to share their favorite equine humor.

4. Can I use these jokes in a public setting?

It depends on the audience and context. The kid-friendly and clean horse jokes are fine for most public settings. However, exercise discretion with jokes containing vulgar language or adult content.

5. Do horses really understand humor?

Unfortunately horses probably don’t truly comprehend the jokes we tell about them. But some evidence suggests they may understand some forms of physical comedy and funny behavior by humans.

I hope these horse joke FAQs cleared up any questions you had! Let me know if you need any other horse humor explained. Until then, don’t stop horsing around!