Goats are fun, quirky animals that can make for great joke fodder, hence, this list of hilarious goat jokes. Their curious nature, funky eyes, and ability to eat just about anything lend themselves well to humor. Below are 100 hilarious jokes about our cloven-hoofed friends that will have you laughing out loud!
Why Are Goats So Funny?
Before we get to the jokes, let’s discuss why goats make such great comedic material. Here are a few reasons goats are absolutely hilarious:
- Their weird eyes – Goats have rectangular pupils and horizontal slit-shaped eyes that look very unusual. Their sideways-looking peepers give them a constant look of curiosity and confusion that is prime for jokes.
- They’ll eat anything – Goats are notorious for having iron stomachs and munching on strange things like tin cans, clothing, and cardboard. Their indiscriminate appetites lead to lots of joke opportunities.
- Their odd sounds – From strange bleating to bizarre accents (goats raised around other animals will mimic their voices!), the sounds goats make are silly and peculiar.
- Their behavior – Goats do ridiculous things like climbing where they shouldn’t, standing on their hind legs to reach high tree branches, and jumping around like lunatics. Such odd mannerisms make for great joke fodder.
- Their stubbornness – Once a goat sets its mind on something, good luck changing it. Their stubborn refusal to do what they’re told sometimes makes them the butts of jokes.
Now that we know why goats are so funny, let’s dive into the jokes!
Funny Goat Jokes
Below you’ll find 100 goat jokes ranging from cute and innocent to downright hilarious. We’ve included one-liners, knock knock jokes, puns, and longer stories.
Let’s start with some short, funny one-liners:
- What do you call a sleepy goat? A drowsy nanny!
- Why don’t goats like spending money? They’re afraid of buyer’s remorse.
- What did the goat say when asked about the barber shop quartet? It was pretty baaad.
- My goat is training to be a landscaper, now he mows my lawn for free! You could say he’s an expert in na-turf management.
- What kind of cake does a goat bake for it’s birthday? Angel food cake.
- What do you get from a pampered goat? Good milk and good cheese!
- How do goats get their mail? They open their goat-box!
- Why don’t goats tell jokes when they fly? The humor would just go over people’s heads.
- How do goats feel when they get new sneakers? They’re pretty ec-goat-ic!
- Why are bad smells called odors and bad sounds called noises? Because if they were the other way around, a fart would be called a noisdor!
Knock Knock Jokes
Let’s bleat out some knock knock jokes next:
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Goat. Goat who? Goat any good jokes to tell?
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Alpine. Alpine who? Alpine the button so I can tell you a goat joke!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Cashmere. Cashmere who? Cashmere outside howling like a goat!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? Butter not tell any more goat jokes or people will think I’m silly!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Alec. Alec who? Alec goat to tell you goat joke but he got cold feet!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Yahtzee. Yahtzee who? Yahtzee I have another goat joke for you!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Jude. Jude who? Jude know any goat jokes?
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Abby. Abby who? Abby pulling your leg, I don’t have a goat joke right now!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like to hear another goat joke?
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Anita. Anita who? Anita to stop telling you goat jokes and move on!
Get your goat and chew on these funny puns:
- What do you call a happy goat? A gleeful bleater!
- What do you get from a goat that wanders off? A stray kid.
- Why don’t goats do yoga? They prefer pilates instead!
- My friend got cold waiting for her goat, she said it was because of the bitter billy winds.
- The baby goats were confused about their curfew. They didn’t have any ideah what time to be home.
- Why don’t goats live alone? They get lonely without their own kind.
- Want to hear a clean joke about a goat? Just kidding, it’s pretty dirty.
- Why did the goat farmer win the award? He was outstanding in his field.
- What do you call a goat that eats dynamite? A Ba-Ba-Boom!
- Did you hear about the delay getting goats across the river? There was trouble billy to billy.
Enough with the short stuff, let’s dive into some longer jokes and stories:
- A family inherits a goat when their uncle passes away. They can’t keep the goat in the house so they build it a little goat shed in the backyard. A few nights later, the neighbors hear strange banging noises coming from the yard. The next morning, they peek out their window to see the goat banging its head against the side of the shed, going bonkers. The concerned neighbors call animal control and tell them about the crazy goat. An officer comes by later that day. The family brings him to the backyard where the goat is still head-banging like a maniac. The officer studies the goat for a minute, then flicks a switch to stop the banging. “He was just cold,” explains the officer. Baffled, the family asks how he figured that out. “Easy,” says the officer, “you just had him switched to the wrong setting – he was on ‘high’ when you should have had him on low.”
- What do you get when you cross a goat and a calculator? A Counting Goat! A family decides to buy a counting goat to help their kid practice math. At first, it works great – the kid asks the goat math problems and it baa’s the right number of times to indicate the answer. But after a few weeks, the family notices something odd. The goat is gaining weight, almost like it’s pregnant. Then one night they hear screaming coming from the barn. They rush outside to find the goat giving birth! But instead of a baby goat coming out, they see plastic and metal pieces. Turns out their math goat somehow got pregnant and birthed a calculator! I guess now they have a real Counting Goat.
- Why did the goat get in trouble at school? He was acting up in class and being a real billy goat! This little goat was not being good in class one day. He was climbing on desks, chewing on backpacks, and headbutting other goats. The teacher warned him to settle down but he wouldn’t listen. Finally the teacher called down to the principal’s office. “Mr. Goat is acting like a billy goat again,” said the teacher. The goat got pulled from class and had to sit in the office the rest of the day for his bad behavior. I guess that will teach him not to be such a billy next time!
- What happens when a goat stops shaving? It grows a goatee! One day a handsome male goat decided he was tired of shaving his chin every day. He wanted to look rugged and cool. So he stopped shaving completely and let his facial hair grow out. After a few weeks he had grown a perfect little goatee on his chin. All the lady goats thought he looked very distinguished. But the farmer got angry because the goat’s goatee kept getting caught on the fence when he tried to eat grass. So the farmer snipped off his goatee. The poor goat was so embarrassed he vowed to go back to shaving every day. I guess having a goatee wasn’t for him after all!
- Why did the goat eat the film reel? He just wanted to be in the mooooovies! There was a goat named Billy who lived on a farm by a drive-in movie theater. Billy would watch the movies every night over the fence. He longed to walk down the red carpet and see his name in lights. One evening the drive-in owner left a big reel of film sitting out. Billy hopped the fence, snatched up the film reel, and ate the whole thing! Later when the owner put on the movie it was just a giant mess of chewed up film. The owner ran outside and found Billy with film stuck in his teeth. “Billy!” he yelled. “Did you eat my movie reel because you want to be a movie star?” Billy just smiled and continued munching the film. Looks like this goat took “getting into pictures” a little too literally!
- Why do goats eat old tin cans? They’re good for their digestion! One day a farmer noticed his goats were eating pieces of rusty old tin cans in the junkyard. Worried they would get sick, he called the vet. The vet wasn’t concerned. “Goats have four stomachs. Eating tin cans actually helps them digest food and provides nutrients,” explained the vet. Upon hearing this, the farmer started leaving piles of tin cans out for the goats. He was amazed that the goats never got sick from eating such sharp, dirty objects. But the goats were happy as could be, munching away on old tin like it was delicious hay! The farmer learned an important lesson – goats can eat almost anything!
Funny Quotes About Goats
Let’s end with some funny goat quotes:
- “When life gives you goat problems, make goat puns.”
- “Sweater? I hardly know her! – Goats eating your clothes”
- “If at first you don’t succeed, eat all the evidence before anyone notices.” – Goat motto
- “You can lead a goat to water but you can’t make him drink diet soda instead.”
- “Goats have two speeds: random and turbo.”
- “Kid around with me and you’ll get my goat.”
- “Goats – Nature’s lawn mowers and landscapers.”
- “Goats will be goats but kids will be kids.”
- “Goats just wanna have pun.”
- “Feeling awkward? Don’t sweat it, you’re not a goat on a tin roof.” – Goat proverb
- “When life throws you hay, make hay goat pLaugh Non-stop With This 100 Goat Jokesuns.”
- “If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence you ever tried. – Goat words to live by”
- “Don’t bite the hoof that feeds you.”
- “Why fit in when you can bleat out?” – Goats’ life motto
Frequently Asked Questions About Goats
Along with the jokes, let’s provide some actual goat facts to answer common questions:
What do goats eat?
Goats are herbivores that eat a variety of plant-based foods:
They especially love poison ivy – it doesn’t harm them! Goats also have a reputLaugh Non-stop With This 100 Goat Jokesation for eating almost anything, including garbage and tin cans. Their diverse diets and adaptability let them thrive in many environments.
How smart are goats?
Goats are very intelligent! They have excellent memories and can recognize and remember up to 50 other goats for years. Goats can use simple tools, solve puzzles, and have been taught to operate things like thermostats in lab experiments. They make great pets because they form strong social bonds and can be trained.
What noises do goats make?
Goats bleat to communicate. Baby goats bleat a high-pitched “maaa” to their mothers. Adults bleat more like “ehh ehh.” When in distress, their bleats get louder. Goats also grunt, snort, and make other strange noises depending on breed.
Why do goats climb?
Goats are natural climbers thanks to their agility and cloven hooves that grip surfaces. They like climbing to reach leaves and branches higher up that other animals can’t get to first. Their climbing ability also helps them escape predators.
Why do goats faint?
Some goats actually faint and stiffen up when they get scared! It’s called “fainting goat syndrome.” Certain breeds like the Tennessee fainting goat have muscles that freeze for about 10 seconds when startled, causing them to tip over before coming to. It’s not harmful to them.
Do goats stink?
Intact male goats can develop a very strong, musky odor from pheromones. Females and neutered males don’t typically smell bad. Proper daily cleaning of their living area is important to control odors. But goats on the whole are not smelly animals.
There you have it – 100 funny jokes ranging from corny puns to long stories that capture the quirky nature of lovable goats! We also answered some common questions people have about goats. Laugh, learn and share these goat jokes with fellow goat lovers in your life. Goats may be stubborn but they sure give us great comedic fodder. I hope you enjoyed this bleating good compilation of caprine comedy! Let me know if it successfully tickled your funny bone.