Laugh Out Loud With These 100 Physicist Jokes That Will Make You Love Physics!

Physics can seem like a dry, serious subject full of complex equations and theories. But physicists have a great sense of humor too! Let physicist jokes and puns shows you have an appreciation for the subject.

In this post, we’ve collected 100 of the best physicist jokes. Some poke fun at famous scientists like Einstein and Newton. Others play with physics terminology in hilarious ways. All of them will make you chuckle and gain a new appreciation for the science of matter and energy.

So read on for a big dose of physics humor! We guarantee these jokes will have you laughing even if you don’t understand every scientific reference.

Jokes About Famous Physicists

Famous physicists like Einstein and Newton have become cultural icons. Their names and photos are fair game for all kinds of jokes!

Albert Einstein Jokes

The eccentric German physicist Albert Einstein is an easy target for jokes. Here are some of the best ones about his wild hair and brilliant mind:

  • Why was Einstein terrible at pitching a baseball? His fastball was relatively slow!
  • Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time too!
  • Einstein has a big brain with an unusually large surface area. In other words, he has a big mind on him.
  • Einstein’s teacher said he would never amount to anything. It was relatively bad advice!
  • Einstein was hoping to win $10 million from a TV game show. But sadly, he lost his chance at that amount of money…relatively speaking.
  • Einstein loved playing his violin for hours on end. You could say he was a master at string theory!
  • Einstein couldn’t pay the parking meter, so he left a note that said “I’ll be Bach later to take care of this.”
  • Einstein’s wife often scolded him for his forgetfulness. But you can’t blame him, many people are absent-minded professors!

Isaac Newton Jokes

As the “father of physics,” Isaac Newton also gets ribbed in physics jokes:

  • Why did Isaac Newton find Christmas so depressing? Because everything reminded him of his ex, Feliz Navidad.
  • Why does Isaac Newton avoid sitting under apple trees? Because gravity makes him fall to pieces.
  • Newton was never any good at tennis. His forehand was strong, but his backhand was a bit off.
  • Isaac Newton and George Washington Carver have something in common: they both took naps under shady trees.
  • I was reading a book about anti-gravity. I couldn’t put it down! – Isaac Newton
  • Police arrested Isaac Newton for participating in occult rituals. But he insisted he was framed.
  • How did Isaac Newton die? In his sleep. Isn’t that how figs roll?
  • Newton loved gardening, but was never able to grow a good apple. It was one of his few failures in life.
  • What do you call a scientist who specializes in Isaac Newton? A newtonologist.

Niels Bohr Jokes

The Danish physicist Niels Bohr also comes up frequently in physics jokes:

  • Niels Bohr would get upset when anyone misinterpreted his theory on quantum physics. You could say he had a Bohr-dline for corrections.
  • What did Niels Bohr get when he won the lottery? The noble prize!
  • Niels Bohr wasn’t very sociable. You might say he preferred to keep to Bohrself.
  • Niels Bohr loved hosting parties for fellow physicists. The guests would say, “We’ve had some Bohr-illiant times here!”
  • Niels Bohr took up boxing in college. He was a real quantum puncher!
  • Why did Niels Bohr get sad when his gardener quit? He had lost his quantum of solace.
  • Niels Bohr’s friends were concerned when he had triplets. But he said, “Don’t worry, everything will be Bohr-nomal again soon!”

Richard Feynman Jokes

Richard Feynman was another famous American physicist who often comes up in jokes:

  • Richard Feynman played drums in a physics-themed rock band called “The Quantum Mechanics.”
  • Richard Feynman could calculate complex equations easily. His mind was like a physics calculator!
  • Richard Feynman loved sunbathing. He was a true sun Feynman.
  • Richard Feynman was the life of every physics party. He really knew how to get the Feynman going!
  • Richard Feynman had a good sense of humor. You might even call him a joke Feynman-facturer.
  • Richard Feynman’s catchphrase was “Shut up and calculate!” You might say he embraced the Feynman approach to problem-solving.
  • Richard Feynman won a Limbo competition against other physicists. He was the Feynman under the bar!

Stephen Hawking Jokes

And of course, the brilliant Stephen Hawking has inspired many jokes too:

  • Why did Stephen Hawking love nursery rhymes? Because they were simple, sing-song explanations for complex phenomena.
  • Stephen Hawking and his physicist friends once went to a wrestling event. It attracted the biggest brains and the biggest brawn!
  • Stephen Hawking was hoping for a knighthood. But the Queen just didn’t find him that sir-ious.
  • Stephen Hawking threw a big countdown party before dying. It was a real timed event.
  • The band U2 once wanted Stephen Hawking to appear in a music video. But he declined because he didn’t want to be a pop wheelchair idol.
  • Stephen Hawking loved doing daredevil activities. You might say he really pushed the chair-riers.
  • How did Stephen Hawking cut his hair? With Hawking radiation!
  • Why did Stephen Hawking do so well in school? Because every class was gravity-defying.
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Science Pun Jokes

Puns that play with scientific words and ideas make for great physics humor too. Here are some of the punniest science jokes around:

  • Two protons collided with each other inside a particle accelerator. Proton 1 says, “I lost an electron!” Proton 2 says, “Are you positive?”
  • Why can you never trust an atom? They make up everything!
  • I was struggling with my Physics homework last night. It was an uphill battle – I was fighting against gravity the whole time.
  • I bet my friend $5 I could put a piece of sodium metal in water without it exploding. Let’s just say I won my bet Na-y-ly.
  • What do you call someone who loves quantum entanglement, cats, and caffeine? A quantum barista!
  • Why did Ernest Rutherford turn down a knighthood? He didn’t want to be Sir-rounded by politicians!
  • The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees it as half empty. The physicist sees it as completely full – half with water and half with air.
  • Two atoms bump into each other. One says “I think I lost an electron!” The other asks, “Are you sure?” The first replies “I’m absolutely positive!”
  • Want to hear a physics joke with momentum? I would tell you one, but it requires too much energy to explain.
  • Did you know Einstein developed a theory of comedy? It was called the Theory of Relativity…because all humor is relative!
  • Never trust a scientist with graph paper. They’re always plotting something!
  • I was going to tell you a joke about time traveling, but you didn’t like it.
  • Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright before they open their mouths.
  • I tried to catch fog earlier. Mist.
  • What do you call someone who eats magnets and lives forever? A ferris immortal!
  • The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense!
  • I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
  • Just found out I’m colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple!
  • Why can’t bicycles stand on their own? They are two tired!

Jokes About Physics Laws and Theories

The major laws and theories of physics provide great fodder for jokes too. Here are some knee-slappers related to physics fundamentals:

Gravity Jokes

  • Why didn’t gravity marry the Higgs boson? There was no attraction!
  • I was going to tell a chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon.
  • Why did the physics teacher break up with the gym teacher? There was no chemistry!
  • Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They take everything literally.
  • I’m reading a great book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
  • Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? To win the No-bell prize!
  • Why was the quantum physicist exhausted? They were working on a wave function!

Thermodynamics Jokes

  • Never trust atoms – they make up everything!
  • Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water? There was a lot of chemistry between them!
  • Thermodynamics jokes never get old. They have perpetual motion!
  • I took my new shoes back to the store. They weren’t the right Kelvin.
  • The second law of thermodynamics says you can’t unscramble an egg. That’s what I call true entropy!
  • A photon walks through a hotel door, goes up to the front desk and asks “Do you have a room for the night?” The clerk says no. So the photon goes out the door but a moment later comes back in and asks again. Once more the clerk says they have no room for him. This goes on again and again until finally the clerk says, “Sir, I’ve told you repeatedly, we do not have a room for you. We’re full tonight!” At that, the photon pauses and replies, “Well, are you sure?” The clerk says, “Yes I’m absolutely positive.”

Quantum Mechanics Jokes

  • Did you hear about the two quantum particles that got married? It didn’t last very long. As soon as they were wed, they became entangled!
  • What do you call a physicist who studies Irish quantum theory? A lepre-quantum mechanic!
  • Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.
  • A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much for a beer. The bartender replies, “For you, no charge!”
  • How does a physicist cube root beer? They square it first.
  • Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek. Einstein covers his eyes and starts counting to ten. Pascal runs off and hides. Newton stands right in front of Einstein and draws a one meter by one meter square on the ground around himself. Einstein reaches ten, uncovers his eyes and exclaims “Newton! I found you! You’re it!” Newton smiles and says “Nope, you found Pascal!”
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Theory of Relativity Jokes

  • Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time too!
  • I was going to tell you a joke about the speed of light, but then I realized you wouldn’t get it.
  • Why did Einstein get along so well with his patent clerk coworker? They had good chemistry together!
  • Einstein loved to tell inappropriate jokes at the office. His clerk said it was very unwise.
  • Einstein used to ride a bike to work every day. It was his theory of relatability.
  • Why was Einstein terrible at making crème brûlée? He always ended up overcooking it relatatively speaking.
  • I was reading a great book about anti-gravity. It was impossible to put down!

Jokes from Real Life Physics

Not all physics humor comes from textbooks and labs. These jokes are inspired by real life mishaps and scenarios:

  • Why was Schrodinger such a bad cat owner? Because he never knew if his cat was dead or alive!
  • I broke a huge law of Physics today. Let me know if the Physics Police come looking for me.
  • The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees it as half empty. The physicist sees it as completely full – half with water and half with air.
  • My physics teacher told me I had potential. Then he threw me off the roof!
  • Don’t trust atoms – they make up everything!
  • I declared a variable and forgot to initialize it. Now it’s in an undetermined state.
  • I was struggling with my physics homework last night. It was an uphill battle; I was fighting gravity the whole time!
  • My friends bet me $100 I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on their faces as I drove pasta!
  • Why did Erwin Schrodinger, Paul Dirac and Wolfgang Pauli work in very small garages? Because they were quantum mechanics!
  • The past, present and future walked into a bar. It was tense!

Physics Jokes About Academia

Academic life provides lots of fodder for physicist jokes too!

  • A physicist, engineer, and mathematician are stranded on a desert island with only canned food to eat. The engineer and physicist devise ways to open the cans without any tools. “Let’s just assume we have a can opener,” says the mathematician.
  • What did the physics major say when asked to name an instrument? “Trom-bone!”
  • Why couldn’t the physics major find love on Tinder? He only knew how to derive equations for momentum, not relationships!
  • Why did the physics student get poor grades? Their mind was in an eigenstate.
  • A physics professor was explaining Newton’s First Law – that an object at rest stays at rest unless acted upon by an outside force. To demonstrate, he stood on his desk and asked the class, “Do you believe this desk is at rest?” Everyone nodded. So the professor gave a big jump and landed back on his desk. He asked again, “Is the desk at rest now?” The students thought for a moment, then one brave soul raised his hand and said, “No sir, it’s slightly Raised!”
  • What’s the difference between a graduate physics student and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family!
  • Why did Erwin Schrodinger, Paul Dirac and Wolfgang Pauli work in very small garages? Because they were quantum mechanics!
  • A physicist and mathematician are in a room with a beautiful woman. The physicist says “I’ll handle this logically” and goes up to talk to her. After a minute, he comes back dejected. “She rejected me. Your turn.” The mathematician thinks for a minute. “Yeah, logically, my chances are zero too”

Funny Physics Questions and Answers

Let’s finish up with some funny physics Q&A jokes:

Q: Why did the physics students steal the classroom clock?

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A: They wanted to determine time more precisely!

Q: Where do quantum physicists like to eat?

A: At H-Bar and Grill!

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?

A: An Im-pasta!

Q: If a dog gave milk, what kind of milk would it be?

A: Puppy milk!

Q: Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom?

A: Because the “P” is silent!

Q: What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?

A: “Look Grandpa, no hands!”

Q: What did the physics teacher say when asked about the formula for water?

A: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O! (H to O)

Q: Why was the entropy unhappily married?

A: It wanted a divorce (divergence)!

Q: Why was Maxwell so devoted to studying electromagnetism?

A: Because he was so into Faraday!

Q: How did scientists figure out the exact charge of an electron?

A: They used Chargaff’s rules!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?

A: To get to the same side!

Q: What did one boson say to the other boson as they were driving off a cliff?

A: Higgs Boson bye son!

I hope you got a kick out of these physics jokes! Laughter helps make science less intimidating. Memorize a few to impress your physics-loving friends. And remember, physics is fun-damental!

Frequently Asked Questions About Physics Jokes

Physics jokes can sometimes go over your head if you don’t understand the science references. Here are answers to some frequently asked questions about the concepts and history behind physics humor.

Who are some of the physicists referenced in jokes?

Some of the most prominent names referenced include:

  • Albert Einstein – Developer of theory of relativity and one of the most famous scientists in history
  • Isaac Newton – Physicist who defined laws of motion and gravity
  • Niels Bohr – Quantum theory pioneer who proposed model of atom with electrons orbiting a nucleus
  • Richard Feynman – Influential American physicist who helped develop quantum mechanics
  • Stephen Hawking – Author of “A Brief History of Time” who had a brilliant mind despite ALS

What is string theory?

String theory proposes that the fundamental particles that make up matter and energy are actually tiny vibrating strings. Some jokes poke fun at it as being an overly complex hypothetical concept.

What does quantum mechanics study?

Quantum mechanics looks at physics at the subatomic scale, where matter exhibits strange behaviors like being both a particle and wave. Quantum physics is filled with complex math, which leads to many jokes about how confusing it is.

What is the theory of relativity?

Einstein’s theory of relativity explains gravity as curves in spacetime and revealed that time is relative based on your speed and location in space. Jokes often play with the nonlinear nature of time predicted by relativity.

What is entropy in thermodynamics?

Entropy is a measure of disorder within a system. The second law of thermodynamics says entropy tends to increase over time as energy spreads out and becomes more disordered. Jokes about entropy play with the idea that you can’t unscramble an egg or reverse increasing disorder.

What is the Higgs boson?

The Higgs boson is an elementary particle that was predicted by the standard model of particle physics and then discovered by scientists at the Large Hadron Collider in 2012. It helps explain how fundamental particles acquire mass. Jokes often refer to the Higgs as the “God particle.”

Who was Schrödinger and what is his cat paradox?

Erwin Schrödinger was an Austrian physicist who helped develop quantum theory. Schrödinger’s cat is a thought experiment that illustrates a paradox of quantum superposition. The cat is imagined as being in a state that is both alive and dead at the same time until it’s observed.

What are some classic physics thought experiments?

Famous thought experiments in physics include:

  • Schrödinger’s cat
  • Einstein’s elevator
  • Newton’s cannonball
  • Heisenberg’s microscope
  • Maxwell’s demon

These imagined scenarios reveal insights about the nature of physics without needing laboratory setups. The outlandish situations lend themselves well to jokes.

What are some important equations in physics?

Equations that often appear in physics jokes include:

  • E = mc^2 – Einstein’s famous equation relating energy and mass
  • F = ma – Newton’s second law of motion
  • E = hf – Relationship between energy and frequency
  • PV = nRT – Ideal gas law

And there you have it – a complete guide to physics jokes and the concepts that inspire them! Let me know if you have any other physics humor questions.