Fart jokes. They’re immature, inappropriate, and yet oh so funny! Almost everyone finds fart humor hilarious, no matter how old they get. There’s just something about flatulence that strikes us as endlessly entertaining.
In this post, we’ve gathered 100 of the best fart jokes and puns around. From cute little poots to loud, smelly explosions – these jokes cover all the bases when it comes to farting. So get ready to giggle, guffaw, and groan at this comprehensive collection of fart-tastic funnies!
A Little Background on Farts
Before we get to the jokes, let’s go over some fart fundamentals. What exactly are farts? Scientifically speaking, flatulence is gas from the intestines that is passed through the rectum. The gas comes from two main sources:
- Swallowed air: We swallow air when we eat, drink, and talk. Small amounts of this air get trapped in the digestive system and eventually need to be released.
- Gas production: Microbes in our large intestine produce various gasses during the digestive process, including hydrogen, methane, and carbon dioxide.
The mixture of gases gives farts their characteristic rotten egg/sewer gas aroma. Other fart smells are based on what you’ve eaten, such as particularly smelly sulfur compounds from cabbages or beans.
The sound comes from the anus muscles tightening to force out the gas, along with the vibrations of the anal opening. The pitch and volume depend on the tightness of the sphincter muscles and force of expulsion.
And there you have it – a scientific breakdown of farts! Now let’s get to the good stuff…
Hilarious Fart Jokes and Puns
Get ready to bust a gut laughing at these fart-tastic jokes! From clever wordplay to outrageous scenarios, these will have you in stitches.
Fart Knock Knocks
Knock knock jokes + farts = funny!
- Knock knock
- Who’s there?
- Canoe who?
- Canoe keep it down in there? All the farting is making me nauseous!
- Knock knock
- Who’s there?
- Dwayne who?
- Dwayne the bathtub I’m gunna fart!
- Knock knock
- Who’s there?
- Amos who?
- A mosquito bit me and now I have gas!
- Knock knock
- Who’s there?
- Doris who?
- Doris locked that’s why I’m knocking!
- Knock knock
- Who’s there?
- Beets who?
- Beets me, all I did was fart!
Cheesy Fart Puns
Puns really let the fart jokes rip!
- What do you call a fart in a smart car? An intelligent gas!
- Why did the scientist fart in the lab? For experimental purposes!
- I farted on the elevator today and took it to another level.
- I was riding my bike today when I farted and it blew the seat off! Talk about a gas propelled vehicle.
- I ate too much broccoli last night and now I’m really gassy. I’m a green house!
- I thought my farts didn’t smell until I realized my nose was malfunctioning. It was a lack of smellf awareness!
- Why do farts smell? So deaf people can enjoy them too!
- Silent but violent fart jokes never get old, they just become quiet legends.
- Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food but no atmosphere!
- Why couldn’t the astronaut fart in his spacesuit? It wasn’t NASA approved!
- Why do farts smell? For the benefit of the hearing impaired!
Funny Fart Scenarios
Set the fart scene with these funny scenarios and stories!
- I was on a first date and tried to fart silently, but it came out so loud! Talk about an awkward first impression.
- Last night our dog was staring at us and farting up a storm. I think he was trying to communicate with us!
- I farted next to a police officer’s car the other day. Thankfully I was able to squeak by without getting arrested!
- I was in yoga class this morning and let out the longest, loudest fart during final resting pose. So much for inner peace!
- My 3 year old farted at the dinner table and blamed it on her favorite stuffed animal. Toddlers are too funny.
- I woke myself up farting last night. I was so confused until the smell hit me!
- I ate a whole box of Fiber One bars and then went over to my boyfriend’s place. His room never smelled the same again.
- My grandpa likes to fart all the time to gross out grandma. He’s such an old fart!
- I farted while jogging today and an old lady yelled after me, “was that you young man?” So embarrassing!
- I ripped my pants wide open farting once. Luckily it was in front of good friends and we all just laughed hysterically.
Funny Fart Memes
Memes really let the fart humor fly!
- [Photo of a fart propelling a person on a wheeled office chair down a hallway]
- Caption: Fart power, activate!
- [Photo of a mom with a clothespin on her nose next to a farting toddler]
- Caption: Toddler farts are next level toxic.
- [Comic of someone farting loudly next to their date at a restaurant]
- Caption: Timing is everything when dating and farting.
- [Photo of a dog staring at its own behind after farting]
- Caption: Whoever smelt it, dealt it!
- [Comic of someone lighting a match after farting]
- Caption: Gotta check the damage after those spicy fajitas!
- [Photo of a cat making a funny face with stink lines coming from its behind]
- Caption: When kitty lets one rip.
- [Comic of two astronauts farting in space with stink lines filling their helmets]
- Caption: To fart or not to fart, that is the question.
- [Photo of a woman fanning the air next to her with a disgusted face]
- Caption: When your coworker eats beans for lunch. 🤢
- [Comic of someone leaning away and waving their hand in front of their nose]
- Caption: When you walk through someone’s silent but deadly fart cloud.
- [Photo of a dog passing gas and looking guilty]
- Caption: My farts don’t stink, I swear!
Facts About Farts
These fart facts add some science and knowledge to the humor!
- The average person farts 15-25 times per day. Let ‘er rip!
- Farts are composed primarily of nitrogen, hydrogen, carbon dioxide, oxygen and methane. A gassy mixture!
- The world record for the longest fart is 2 minutes 42 seconds. Talk about butt stamina!
- Farts can travel up to 10 feet per second, which is about 7 miles an hour. Fast little toots!
- Women’s farts generally smell worse because of higher levels of hydrogen sulfide gas. Thanks biology!
- Holding in farts can cause bloating, discomfort, and even damage your intestines if done repeatedly. Let them go!
- Certain foods like beans, dairy, eggs and artificial sweeteners can make you extra gassy. Stinky side effects.
- The scientific term for farting is flatulence. Such a polite name for tooting!
- Dogs fart too! On average they pass gas 10-15 times per day. Definitely more than humans.
- Farts help propel food through your intestines and also get rid of swallowed air. They serve a purpose!
Kids’ Fart Jokes
These fart jokes are extra fun for kids!
- What’s invisible and smells like carrots? Bunny farts!
- What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek? Together, we can stop this crap!
- Why did Suzy fart in her karate class? Because she was learning rip-arts!
- What type of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderpants!
- Doctor, doctor, I keep farting! Next time don’t swallow so much air!
- What did the mom say to her son after his stinky fart? You have to warn me before you blow one of those toxic fumes!
- Why did the dinosaur fart? Because meteoroid!
- Why do farts stink? So you can smell the funny!
- How do astronauts’ farts not float away? They wear space pants!
- Why did the cow cross the road? To fart on the other side! Moo ha ha!
Silly Fart Songs and Poems
Sing or recite these funny fart songs and poems!
(To the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star) 💨 Tootle tootle little fart, What you do is quite an art! Up above the world so high, Like a stinker in the sky! 💨
Roses are red, pickles are green
I like your butt cause it makes a machine gun peen!
Beans, beans, magical fruit The more you eat, the more you toot!
Here is a simple poem about a fart: Silent but deadly, Smelly and rotten, Floating through the air, Oops! Who has just farted?
F is for farting, it floats through the air A is for aroma that travels somewhere R is for rear end, where farts come out T is for toot, what farts are about!
When is Farting a Concern?
While farting is totally normal, excessive flatulence can indicate an underlying health issue. It’s a good idea to talk to your doctor if you experience:
- Increased gas and bloating that interferes with daily life
- Sudden unexplained changes in farting frequency or smell
- Excessive farting along with abdominal pain, cramps or discomfort
- Inability to control gas or leakage of stool
- Bloody discharge or mucus from the rectum
- Foul-smelling gas along with fever, chills or weight loss
Some common causes of excessive farting include:
- Food intolerances like lactose intolerance
- Irritable bowel diseases like IBS
- Food poisoning
- Gastrointestinal infections
- Colon cancer
So while the occasional farting fit is no big deal, prolonged increased flatulence deserves a trip to the doctor. Frequent farting can point to food sensitivities, gut health issues, and more serious conditions.
Fart Etiquette – How to Fart Politely
Despite how funny farts are, there’s a time and place for letting them rip:
- If you feel one brewing in public, try to excuse yourself to the restroom. Better out than in!
- If you accidentally fart loudly in public, an “excuse me” or apology is polite. We’ve all been there.
- Never fart or burp obnoxiously to be the center of attention. Immaturity is not cute.
- Hold in farts during job interviews, business meetings, weddings, funerals, or other formal occasions. Prioritize decorum.
- If you’re comfortable enough, you can laugh off farts with close friends and partners. Giggles relieve mortification!
- Blaming farting on other sources – like your shoes or the dog – stops being funny after elementary school. Own your toots!
- If you’re going to sit on someone’s lap, give them a courtesy warning if you feel gassy. Prevent surprise outbursts.
- Say “excuse me” after you fart at the dinner table and briefly step away to give the air time to clear. Minimize others’ exposure.
- Never ever intentionally fan or direct a fart at someone’s face. That’s malicious fart bullying. Not okay!
- Be understanding when others fart in front of you accidentally. Empathy goes a long way.
Follow these tips to fart more politely (when you absolutely must!) and handle others’ flatulence with grace. Aim to minimize negative impact.
Frequently Asked Questions About Farts
You’ve got fart questions, we’ve got fart answers! Here are some of the most common FAQs about breaking wind:
Why are farts funny?
Several factors contribute to the inherent humor of passing gas:
- It’s taboo: Farting is somewhat shameful and embarrassing, done privately if possible. Bringing taboo topics into the open breaks social norms in a humorous way.
- It makes weird noises: The sounds of farting are unpredictable, varied, and downright silly. These add a childish auditory element.
- The relief factor: Holding in farts can be uncomfortable. Finally letting one rip brings physical and emotional relief, which can prompt laughter.
- The smell: Fart odors range from mildly unpleasant to downright putrid. The exaggerated stench adds absurdity.
- Immaturity: Potty humor and fart jokes are associated with kids. Finding farts funny in adulthood retains a juvenile silliness.
What foods make you fart more?
The top gas-inducing foods include:
- Beans, lentils and legumes – all forms are notorious for increased farting and bloating due to high fiber and complex sugars.
- Dairy products like milk, cheese, and ice cream – many people struggle to digest lactose.
- Cruciferous veggies like broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower and Brussels sprouts – they contain complex carbs.
- Fruits like apples, pears, and prunes – high fiber fruits can increase gas production.
- Sodas and juices – carbonation and fruit sugars lead to air swallowing and gas.
- Artificial sweeteners like xylitol, sorbitol and mannitol – sugar alcohols can ferment in the intestines.
- High fatty foods – these take longer to digest, allowing more time for intestine bacteria to release gas.
Why do farts smell so bad?
The worst smelling farts contain high levels of sulfur:
- Hydrogen sulfide gas smells like rotten eggs. Foods high in sulfur like beans, dairy, meat, and vegetables contain sulfur compounds that get released as gas.
- Methanethiol gas also contains sulfur and smells like rotten cabbage. It’s found in high-fiber foods.
- Foods fermenting in your digestive tract produce foul-smelling gases like putrescine and cadaverine.
So the more high-sulfur foods you eat, the more noxious compounds for your intestines to transform into flatus!
Is it healthy to hold in farts?
Nope, holding in farts is not generally recommended:
- Built-up intestinal gas can cause uncomfortable bloating and abdominal distension.
- Excess gas pressure can trigger stomach cramps, pain, and colic.
- Forcing gas back up the intestines allows gut bacteria to enter your bloodstream and potentially cause illness.
- Holding in farts for long periods can weaken the anal sphincter muscles over time.
- Trying to suppress farts can lead to stress incontinence and accidental soiling.
Let it out! The best approach is to fart when you need to fart. Only try to hold it in on special occasions or when you have quick access to a restroom.
How can I fart less?
To decrease flatulence, avoid gassy foods and change certain habits:
- Limit high fiber veggies, beans, dairy, artificial sweeteners, fizzy drinks, etc
- Take over-the-counter gas relief supplements like Gas-X or activated charcoal pills.
- Exercise regularly to promote movement through the intestines.
- Reduce chewing gum, drinking through straws, and smoking – activities that cause excess swallowed air.
- Eat slowly, chew thoroughly, and don’t talk while eating to decrease air swallowing.
- Treat underlying conditions like food intolerances, IBS, infections, etc.
Making dietary adjustments and lifestyle changes can help minimize excessive or odor-prone farts. But passing gas a normal amount is healthy, so don’t try to eliminate it completely.
And there you have it – a comprehensive collection of the funniest, most hilarious fart jokes around! As you can see, fart humor appeals to all ages with its inherent silliness and taboo nature. Just remember to exude the fart etiquette – be polite with potty jokes and handle others’ flatulence with understanding. Embrace the laugh factor while minimizing offense or disgust.
Next time you feel a big one brewing, recite a fart joke or two to lighten the mood for yourself and any bystanders! Because while farting may be embarrassing, it’s always better to toot and chuckle than hold in unhealthy gas. Bottoms up for laughter!