Who doesn’t love a good laugh? Especially when you’re texting friends and family, that’s why we’ve compiled this list of 100 funny text jokes that are sure to get a smile, chuckle or outright belly laugh from whoever you’re chatting with!
From clever plays on words to silly one-liners, these jokes are great for breaking the ice or just giving your next text exchange some comedic flair. And don’t worry – we’ve kept these jokes family-friendly and free of offense.
So next time you’re looking to add a little humor to your texts, try out one of these funny jokes!
Funny Text Jokes
1. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
2. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
3. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
4. Want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy!
5. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired!
6. What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
7. Did you hear about the popcorn maker who retired? He decided to step down from his kernel duties.
8. How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
9. What do you call a dog that does magic tricks? A labracadabrador.
10. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up!
11. I tried looking for gold, but it didn’t pan out.
12. What did one traffic light say to the other? Don’t look! I’m changing!
13. How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!
14. What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
15. What does a nosy pepper do? It gets jalapeno business!
16. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
17. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
18. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador!
19. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus!
20. Want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, we’re still working on it!
21. Why can’t bicycles stand up on their own? Because they are two tired!
22. How do you organize an outer space party? You planet!
23. What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!
24. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
25. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up!
26. I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but couldn’t find any.
27. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!
28. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me!
29. Why can’t a bicycle stand up on its own? It’s two tired!
30. How do trees access the internet? They log on!
31. I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na..
32. Why do fungi have to pay double bus fares? Because they take up too mushroom!
33. What’s the best place to see a man eating fish? A seafood restaurant!
34. Which is the funniest cheese? Laughing brie!
35. What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me!
36. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
37. What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
38. Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind, it’s tearable.
39. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me!
40. Why can’t bicycles stand up on their own? Because they are two tired!
41. What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look! I’m about to change!
42. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!
43. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.
44. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers!
45. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
46. I’m reading a book on the history of glue – I just can’t seem to put it down!
47. Why couldn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out, man!
48. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
49. I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
50. Want to hear a joke about construction? Nah, I’m still working on it!
51. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up!
52. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison!
53. Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu – you get what you deserve!
54. Where do boats go when they’re sick? To the dock!
55. What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!
56. I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it!
57. What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick!
58. Did you hear about the crime at the pizza shop? A slice of evidence was missing!
59. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Cause if they flew over the bay, we’d call them bagels!
60. I don’t trust those trees. They seem kinda shady.
61. How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it!
62. A neutrino walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind here!” The neutrino says “Don’t worry, I’m just passing through.”
63. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
64. Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!
65. What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1Forrest1
66. Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They take things literally.
67. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador!
68. Why did the chicken go to the séance? To get to the other side!
69. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes Sean Connery!
70. Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can hoe hoe hoe!
71. My friend thinks he is so cool just because he has a bucket. It’s not that impressive – it’s just a pail in comparison.
72. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up!
73. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer the other day. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day!
74. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space!
75. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
76. What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
77. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
78. Want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy!
79. I knew I shouldn’t steal the calendar, but the days were numbered.
80. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired!
81. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it!
82. Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage.
83. What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1Forrest1!
84. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line!
85. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!
86. I’m emotionally constipated. I haven’t given a crap in days.
87. Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!
88. What kind of award did the dentist receive? A little plaque!
89. Why can’t a bike stand up by itself? Because it’s two tired!
90. I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke.
91. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador!
92. Why was the vegetable afraid to cross the road? It was a chicken!
93. How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!
94. Did you hear about the guy who stole a calendar? He got 12 months!
95. My friend says he doesn’t believe in hurdles. I think he can get over it.
96. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
97. What’s brown and sticky? A stick!
98. Why couldn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out, man!
99. I’m reading a great book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
100. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
So there you have it – 100 funny text jokes perfect for making friends and family laugh plus text joke FAQs! With this massive list, you’ll have plenty of one-liners, comebacks and puns to choose from next time you’re looking to add a dose of humor to your texts.
Frequently Asked Questions about Funny Text Jokes
Here are answers to some common questions about sharing funny jokes through text:
1. What types of text jokes are best for getting laughs?
Short, punny jokes tend to work best over text. Play-on-words jokes and one-liners come across well without longer set-ups.
2. How can I make sure my jokes are text-friendly?
Keep it short and snappy. Avoid jokes that rely on physical comedy or sight gags since the recipient can’t see your hilarious expressions!
3. What should I avoid when texting jokes?
Steer clear of jokes that could be misconstrued or seem offensive out of context. Dark humor doesn’t always translate well over text either.
4. How can I come up with funny text jokes and puns?
Take a common saying or phrase and twist it into something unexpected. Rhyming puns also work wonderfully over text.
5. How do I deliver the joke successfully?
Timing and spacing can help with comedic delivery over text. Try breaking up the setup and punchline over multiple texts for the surprise factor.
6. How can I gauge if a joke lands successfully?
If you get a “LOL,” emoji reaction or request to hear another joke, your humor hit the mark! Quick replies usually mean your joke is confused or fell flat.
7. What should I do if a joke bombs or causes offense?
Apologize sincerely if a joke misses or offends. Use it as a learning experience for how your recipient’s sense of humor differs from your own.
8. Is there a way to freshen up familiar text jokes?
Put your own clever spin on known jokes and memes. Tailor the humor to inside references you share with the recipient.
9. What makes a text joke very clever?
Unexpected wordplay, double meanings, and bending idioms or cliches in witty ways can make a text joke feel smart and original.
10. How can I improve my text joke repertoire?
Follow meme accounts, comedy writers, and humor websites to stay up on current joke fodder. Practice by sharing jokes in your own words.